17-05-2018 08:43 PM
17-05-2018 10:40 PM
Hi Worthless (cant say I like calling you that because you are not)
Raising children can be a task that doesnt feel productive yet it is the gold in production. I recall in 1996 when my marriage dissolved and I restarted life in a small caravan. Each day I'd look in the mirror and say out loud "you are a good person, you deserve to be happy, you are a good dad...dont anyone say otherwise to you"
After 3 months of doing that I felt amazingly confident. I created my own confidence. It isnt easy. Financial issues can bring you down. Facing facts though is the way to approach this. You cant fix financial issues without the money to pay the bills. So worrying about it is fruitless and will cause depression. Sit back and do your best and that is all you can do.
Back to my separation. I built my own home. While I was doing so I was spurred on by my children, then 8 and 5yo girls. I would finish that house for my girls. Their room will overlook a fairy garden and have fairy curtains. I will succeed...and I did. While I built my home I couldnt have my kids overnight. Eventually I had them for their first night and it was so memorable.
There is a saying that "you make your own luck". Yes thats true, but with mental illness even temporary it can seem otherwise.
As hard as it seems, while alone take out a pen and revamp your budget. Be strict and you WILL succeed. Things might take a few weeks to improve but it WILL happen.
Pat yourself on the back and be proud.
18-05-2018 12:38 AM
Hello Original Poster
Being alive and having kids is tough. I wont call you worthless. I have felt that way, you may feel that way, but I am sure you have many good qualities. It is hard to get perspective on our own importance.
It makes sense to be a bit of a closed book when a parent has died before you were able to open up and learn give and take in relationships. I have also wanted to join my departed family members, but the call and needs of the young trump that.
18-05-2018 07:06 AM
Hello @An24 I feel for you. It's crushing when you work so hard and get so little support. You are doing a very hard job in supporting your family and caring for your kids. That is actually worth so much. But more than that, you are a valuable person regardless of what you do. I truly believe that. The forum has provided a lot of support for me. It's a safe place to open up.
Do you have a good GP, or any professional support?
It took me a long time after a series of incredibly hard life events to see myself as worthy of care. You deserve care, just like your kids do. Start small. For me, a cup of tea, or a little walk at lunch time can ease the weight of things a little. Self care is really important.
People on the forums care and understand. If you want to reply or include particular people in a conversation, use the @ symbol and their forum name. Take care, frog.
18-05-2018 11:02 AM