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AndyHaliv
New Contributor

Crisis Point

Hi all. 

I've never used a forum before. I'd just love to hear from anyone going through somehing similar to me, I'm realy struggling to cope with recent life changes.

I have just left an emotionally abusive relationship that has left me with depression and somnoe sort of identity crisis. We have a 9 month old baby together and I'm really not coping with being away from my daughter. I left my job when she was born to help my partner with our baby because my partner had an extreme anxiety dissorder. That has left me with no money, no job, no place of my own and no family. 

I feel glad to have separated myself from the abusive relationship but I don't know if leaving was the best thing for my baby. Im struggling with this decision and the depression I have been left with after such emotional trauma is destroying me. I need to build myself from nothing now. I need to somehow still support my baby.

Anyone else had to start from scratch and survived?

6 REPLIES 6

Re: Crisis Point

Hi @AndyHaliv

Welcome to forums!

Allow me to congratulate you on the incredible courage you have demonstrated by leaving that abusive relationship, especially when it has meant effectively starting over from scratch. That was very brave and resourceful of you.

Are you currently receiving any support or assistance for your depression, housing, child care etc? Even without family you don't have to do this all alone, there are resources and services available and I encourage you to make full use of them to get your feet back under you. That is what they are for.

I dont have personal experience with what you have been and still  are going through, but there are a lot of wonderful people on these forums and I am sure some of them will be able to relate personally to your story. Hopefully they will drop into the thread soon, I just wanted to welcome you and acknowledge your courage.

 

Re: Crisis Point

Im unsure of your qualifications, but you can join centrelink- work on your skill base, find a course to complete and tickets for another or your next job you like.

 

Do you have a GP? I think this is a really good start for any recovery journey. Tell your trusted doctor whats going on to see what further support can be available to you if you want it mental health wise.

 

Theres lots of different ideas on ways to support your children too, from arrangements about paying for kinders or schools to starting a savings account for them for when your child turns 18.

 

I hope im on the right track with these comments.

Baboo

Former-Member
Not applicable

Re: Crisis Point

Hi @AndyHaliv

I'm sorry that you've been through such a terrible time. I can't imagine not being with my kids all of the time. I hope that you are still able to visit your baby. I second what @Baboo said about maybe seeing a GP to help with some ideas for coping. Things must have changed so much so quickly for you that its probably completely normal to go through a sort of identity crisis. I left a violent relationship two years ago. I'd had no control over anything in my life for so long that just going shopping and choosing what to buy, what to have for dinner and when was kind of overwhelming. I felt completely incapable of making any 'right' decision. but its gotten easier in those ways (and thats a good thing for me to realise tonight!!). 

LJ

Re: Crisis Point

Hi Andy

 

Taking the first step to leave an abusive relationship was a very good idea because that will show your child when older you dont ever need to tolerate that and now you can take steps to build your life without abuse

My advise is go to centrelink talk to them they have support workers you can talk too that may point you in the right direction you may be entitled to a payment etc second you need to grind grind grind think about your child and grind build a resume hand them into places i dont know your experience but something is better than nothingi know it is tough i wish i could say it would be easy but thats not the truth ..truth is you gotta find something within when your like that lion if you dont grind they dont eat.

 

take care

 

polarshift

Re: Crisis Point

Hi Andy.

 

I'm sorry to hear of your experiences.Its a terrible situation.

Over the last 8 years I've gone the worst times of my life but I got where I am today by being determined not to give up. I had OCD since 2006.Thats gone now. These days I just look after myself each day so I'm a little more healthier not only in my body but emotionally too.

 

I use Acupressure on a daily basis.There are various ailments you can do too just like I do.You can find some websites catering for that. Another thing you can do is "Faster E.F.T" (not to be confused with E.F.T). Faster EFT is Faster Emotionally Focused Transformations. EFT is Emotional Freedom Technique.

 Faster EFT is a simple technique you can use to help yourself get rid of emotional issues,traumatic experiences,etc.You can benefit it.You can do an online search for diagrams,youtube video demos,there's an internet support forum,there is one book on it too. I've been using Faster EFT myself since April this year and I'm feeling better for it.

 

You're amoungst supportive friends here.You're not alone.

 

Chris.

Re: Crisis Point

I had a difficult separation (13 yrs ago) but know it was for the best. We can only care for our young when our own health is reasonable.

There are many ways .. a family in my street broke up and the dad would bring stuff from the op-shop and felt hopeless but the kids still loved playing with them ... a pram or a scooter is still a pram and scooter ... that was years ago now he has a car and he picks them up for weekends .. he has a lot health issues but step by step is the best way.

Good Luck.

 

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