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Jackson
Contributor

My Personal Experience

I have recently had a high level of success with behavioural change, and while we are all not the same we have much in common and so perhaps this "technique" (well it worked for one person thats 100% result right :)).

I'll leave out the specifics, and generalise.

The first thing was the motivation to change.

The second thing was a process of getting information, and seeking professional help, more than one source of information, and more than one person, to reduce the risk of getting poor information or a dud professional.

That process was a bit of browsing here and there, but of having a plan that I wanted to have made a decision on how I was going to proceed within 4 weeks. No backing away. Whatever I had determined at that point I was going to execute (with an opportunity to learn what was working of course).

The next key points were information about what techniques and things about me worked. Say 10 or 20 things that are going to be part of the plan.

The next key point was listing where I exhibited behaviour that was not supportive of the plan, and to remove myself from that environment, by:

- Having fun things to do instead

- Letting those who I mix with know that I was on this journey

But later:

- Changing my response to stimulus that led to me exhibiting the behaviour I wanted to leave behind, and I believe this is a very important point, by finding something just as fulfilling to engage in as a result of that stimuli rather than avoid it, but that did not involve exhibiting the behaviour I did not want to exhibit.

In summary, you need the motivation, then you need to find the information, and with professionals make your own plan after giving yourself 4 weeks to contemplate what that plan can be, then you need 10 or 20 powerful simple things that seem to work, and very importantly have something that avoids the stimuli yes in the beginning but in the end reprogram your response to the stimuli to be something equally as compelling to the behaviour you want to leave behind.

Cheers,

Jack

5 REPLIES 5

Re: My Personal Experience

Hi Jack,

Your personal experience/journey and tried and tested technique (with 100% success rate of course) is a great story to share.  In reading it I get a sence of determination, focus and the motivation you speak of.  The steps and time frames that you put in place are additional evidence of your deterination.  I also like the way you pause and reflect then readapt your strategy.

I remember when I was looking for professionl help/support I tried about 5 different people before  I found the a person prepared to work with me in a colaborative way, that was respectful of my role in developing and managing my plan.  Looks like you had some similar success I am not sure that others are as luckly.

I know that some people think that planing for fun should be / or is instinctive however my experience is that fun is often one of the first things that gets lost in the focus of getting through each day/week/month etc.

thanks for sharing your personal experience - I acknowledge your strength and the direction you are choosing for your journey.

 

Crystal

Re: My Personal Experience

Well done, Jack! 

Re: My Personal Experience

That is a great Plan, I am in the Midst of something similar set up structure wise....

 

How do you or did you deal with the "gut punches" of trying to climb a slippery wall with no hand held down to help you?

I am currently resorting to a GP that i don't really like but has the hand out to help..... because i saw someone else who was "recommended" to my dad, i saw this gp and they didn't want to know me, i was devastated, but it made me realize how good my current GP is being.

But the "gut punches" they drop me pretty good - lack of self esteem i have lol

but i really like your structured path to healing

Re: My Personal Experience

Thanks crystal
Thanks chemonro

Kato, positive re-engagement with verbal advice could be where when next in that situation you turn your mind to fascination about how it is that people talk, the brain firing, moving of the vocal chords, breath pushed out, and so on, pretty cool really, perhaps what would it sound like in chinese, just long enough to take up that time that the kick in the gut reaction would normally kick in.

A second point maybe one that says there are always things that come along that can knock you physiologically into a different zone or mood. You need things to be able to shift that.

Perhaps seeing it like being a bass drum beat under a nice melody that sometimes gets your attention, fine in itself, but the melody is where you want to be?

Stuff like that

Good luck!

Jack

Re: My Personal Experience

Thanks @Jackson i will endeavor to keep that in mind,

Could prove very helpful

 

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