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slimdebmac
Casual Contributor

Need some assistance/advice.

Im a health professional but finding it difficult to cope with my son's illness. He is a 20yr old male with an 18mth history of bipolar. He has this week discharged himself from his care team. He has to date 2 admissions to a psych unit under an ITO but released both times with no ITO or CTO. He is obviously unwell at present and has been since his last admission months ago and has very little insight. It is distressing to watch this and be unable to do anything. He says he is taking medication but his behaviour would suggest otherwise. We support him away from home as a university student providing him with accommodation and a living allowance as he is either unwilling or unable to get work.....we dont want to see our son on the streets. This is truly a difficult situation to find ourselves in. He is a highly intelligent talented young man but is riddled with anxiety, paranoia and full of conspiracy theories. I feel like we are watching a train wreck in slow motion with no idea how to help.

6 REPLIES 6

Re: Need some assistance/advice.

Do you have regular contact with him ... a weekly or monthly meal date to catch up ...that can be a stable point of contact outside the hospitalisation issues.

Is he managing any of his university work ...

It sounds as if he is genuinely stressed and managing paid work as well would be unlikely.  Perhaps keeping positive contact and adjusting performance expectations for a while might help .. unitl he stabilises.  Often courses give extensions of time to enable people with disability to finish them over a longer period of time.

Re: Need some assistance/advice.

We have regular contact with him (sometimes too regular! ) i guess we are lucky in that he seeks our opinion. He had a reduced workload this semester and we are waiting to see if he passes his units. He is registered as a student with disability services as well..he says he has submitted all work. I understand that I'm struggling as I cant force him to get help...I have this overwhelming need to fix it. Something I need to come to terms with I suppose.

Re: Need some assistance/advice.

The doctors have mentioned bi-polar with regard to my son too.  It is hard treading that parental line where we do have responsibility to letting go bit by bit ... to allow our children to take up an adult load.

A friend of mine who also works in health science had dashed hopes when her daughter ended up selling jewellery in market stalls for a few years ... though the daughter also had a degree ... though they have come to some happy outcomes now ... each person's life is so unique ... keep focussing on son's positive traits and be patient with yourself.

The level of pressure and speed of life these days seem to take its a toll on sesnitive talented people ... only a few manage to get on the right train ... all of the time.

Re: Need some assistance/advice.

Hi @slimdebmac

Welcome to the Forums.

It is hard to watch a loved one put themselves through these horrible things. I'm really glad you reached out here.

You're definately not alone in your experience - one member that comes to mind is @Untethered who cares for a daughter with bipolar (you can read more here).

We have also had a Topic Tuesday session called 'What if they don't want to be helped?', which you might find an interesting read. Find out more here.

I'm really glad your son is in contact - that is a plus 🙂

 

Re: Need some assistance/advice.

Get him to join s meditation and yoga groip it will calm him down then you maybe able to get him to take his medication or at least some of it Allan

Re: Need some assistance/advice.

Also keep him off stimulants like coffee
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