Our stories
Hi, I'm a new to this so here we go.
My story starts off during childhood.
Split parents/ family, arguements on who's side to take pretty much growing up until I was 14 a month out from turning 15. During my 9th year of high school, I was repeatedly sexually assulted and occasionally physically abused by my step father at the time. This was also happening to my sister as well, just not the physical abuse.
From the impact of what happened, destoryed both my sister's and my own relationship with my mother's side of the family. The court case went on for some time in my final years of high school and also during my university bridging course. During the case, I started seeing a counsellor provided by the state government, at first I didn't want to go see anyone. But I'm glad that I did other wise I would not be here today.
After the court case, my mother said some horrible things about my sister and myself which isn't true and to this day I cannot be around her or see her without having an anxiety attack and everything that happened shoved back in my face, that's when I fall back into depression badly. I had thought about throwing myself in front of multiple trains or how/what could hurt me the easiest or quickest.
However, from this event also destoryed me mentally. I have suffered Depression multiple times and currently suffering from anxiety. I moved away for a fresh start, which helped myself mentally and relationships, it wasn't until my grandfather passed away I fell into depression again. Guilt hangs over me like a rainy cloud whenever I think about him. My sister and I never got to say goodbye to him properly and at his funeral our mother's side of the family treated my sister and myself like outsiders.
It was at this stage, I went onto anti-depressants. I was on them for sometime until early this year. However, due to major stress, pressure and coming off anti-depressants I fell back into depression, started self-harming reguarly and ending up over dosing in hospital nearly ending up in ICU.
Currently, I am doing fine. I defeated depression since I've come out of hospital and currently suffering from anxiety and trying to beat it's butt. 
Alot of my friends say that I am a strong person and inspirational person as well. I don't understand how I am an inspirational person because I feel like a "normal"person who has had bad things happen to them.
Hi @littleone,
Welcome again to the forums! As Karma has already said, thank you for sharing this with us, it not easy talking about these experiences.
It is great that you have beaten depression twice! The triggers will be there but it sounds like you are aware of what they are which is great. Moving away for a fresh start sounds like it worked well for you. Knowing that you need to do whats best for you is a great thing that you learn from self-discovery, like you said and its great that you have learnt that along your journey.
Good to hear that your anxiety is getting better and its not getting in the way of your happiness. Much like the triggers for depression you mentioned, anxiety will often have its own set of triggers. Working with supportive people can be helpful and glad they were there to support you yesterday.
Losing a loved family member is extremely difficult in the best of circumstances and not being able to say goodbye to your grandfather, particularly in these circumstances must have been very difficult. Particularly when you are treated like outsiders after what you had already been through. Have you ever spoken about your loss with anyone or have there been other priorities for you to address?
Look forward to 'seeing' you around the forums
Rockpool
