Skip to main content
Illustration of people sitting and standing

New here?

Chat with other people who 'Get it'

with health professionals in the background to make sure everything is safe and supportive.

Register

Have an account?
Login

cancel
Showing results for 
Search instead for 
Did you mean: 

Our stories

CompletelyLost
New Contributor

Why lie?!

so about 2mnths ago I was suspicious that my partner was chatting to other women and I had this feeling for a while. I finally decided after asking and getting no where to go thru his phone which came up with multiple pics and videos that had been exchanged with women. I then asked him about and he said yes he had met up with 1 but only to drop some stuff off to her and didn't believe him at all so I decided to msg this girl a month ago and she responded a week ago saying she had no idea about me and the kids and felt guilty (wasn't her fault) she also showed me a msg that he had sent to her a month prior saying im sorry I have a family please don't tell her anything.
We had quite a good conversation and she came out with all the answers I needed to know. They had met up once back in April (I checked my msgs from back then between partner and I and he had a diff story) she also said that they were going to meet up again on a date a month later and it worked out to be the same date as i miscarried.
We had a good/great sex life but during covid our let our hair down nights became an everyday thing for him as i am working i knew but didn't know how bad it got. After confronting him with all the facts he then somehow made it my issue as i didn't have time for him (he was out every night) 😏
He then blamed her saying she was all over him and what was he spos to do 🤔
I told him I needed my space and took off my engagement ring he then started to accuse me of cheating (I am loyal to a fault) and started crying saying he would harm himself, that i dont care about his feelings and it meant nothing.. ao last night I thought i would let my hair down a bit and as we were becoming touchy with each other I couldn't get what happened out of my head, at the start he was cool and gave me my space to breath but this morning he has woken saying last night was a waste of time.I love him we have been through so much together but I dont trust him. He doesn't understand how hurt I am considering when we met he knew that cheating was a big "NO" for me and he agreed
He is constantly looking over my shoulder if I am on my phone and becomes very over the top when he doesn't get the answers that he wants me to say and it makes me nervous.

3 REPLIES 3

Re: Why lie?!

@CompletelyLost  Welcome to the forums.

I really am sorry this is happening to you. I think deep down inside, you know what might be best for you, but doing it isn’t easy. Mutual respect in a relationship is really important.

 

I was concerned reading how he blamed you and threatened self harm. It sounds manipulative. I would recommend seeing a counsellor. Take care of yourself. 

Re: Why lie?!

Hi and welcome, @CompletelyLost , it's good you've joined. I'm sorry to read about your hurtful situation. 

 

I would echo everything that @Maggie  said above. It's not easy, I know. 

 

A handy forum tip is if you type @ and click on a member's name in the drop-down box, they will receive a notification that you've replied to them. 

 

I hope you find the forums supportive. All the best, @CompletelyLost .

Re: Why lie?!

I have organised counselling for myself and I said to him that he needs to do the same. So either way I will be taking care of my mental health first before worrying about anything or anyone else.
Thanks! x
Illustration of people sitting and standing

New here?

Chat with other people who 'Get it'

with health professionals in the background to make sure everything is safe and supportive.

Register

Have an account?
Login

For urgent assistance