Lived Experience Forum

[Starburst]

Hi all, I'm new to the forums and am looking for some advice about living with BPD. I've been struggling for about 13 years, and officially diagnosed with BPD for almost four. I've done DBT and weekly therapy for a long time, but when those bad days come they still hit as hard as ever. I'm well educated but I could never develop a career or hold down a job, and now, in my early thirties, I don't know where to start. It doesn't feel good enough for me to work a couple of days in a simple job when my friends and family are doctors, lawyers and engineers. I feel so bad about myself in front of my family sometimes that I just shut down and get really angry, and then they see me as having gone backwards in recovery. I have a really good marriage but I feel like a massive burden on my husband; we struggle financially because I don't earn any money and have to spend it all on medical care. I don't think I will ever have a child, because I don't think I could handle it and be a good mother, and I don't think anyone else in my family thinks I could be either. I wonder if it is ever possible to live a good life with BPD, or if it is just a constant, painful struggle. Is it worth it?

[Margot]

Hi @Starburst, I'm Margot.

Welcome to the forums 🌻

There's a real sense of loss in your words. BPD has impacted lots of different areas of your life and it's difficult at times to imagine things going differently. Amongst some of the challenges though, I can hear some of the good stuff too. What is it that's kept you going?

I'm sure there are lots of members in the community who can relate to your experience. You can find related discussions to connect with other members by using the search bar above. Oh and if you're up for it, you can introduce yourself to the community more broadly here too. 

Look forward to seeing you around the forums @Starburst ⭐️