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Mish_
Casual Contributor

What do I do? Drowning in misfortunate events one after another

Hi, I came across this forum. I'm at a complete loss right now... almost to the point of being numb. I thought I could get some help and hear other others experiences.

 

This year has been a complete rollercoaster. For context about my situation, im in my early 20s and last year I was living at home with my parents, studying at university straight out of highschool.

 

Several things have happened since the beginning this year in order:

 

Lingering trouble with a father who emotionally and borderline physically abuses my mother. He manipulates the situation to better suit his reality and inflated ego. He has thrown hot food and kitchen utensils at my mother before, and it got to the point where my mother was considering divorce. 

 

Moving out from home for the first time with boyfriend of 6 months. It was fine in the beginning, until issues outside of the relationship such as mywork, covid and family financial hardships caused issues. He was unable to offer emotional support and often left me crying until early morning. and I felt more alone than ever, even while sleeping besides him. 

 

Starting work in healthcare at the climax of coronavirus in an unsupportive, clique workplace caused associated emotions of incompetency. I also felt isolated because I couldn't visit my mother and brother because I would be potentially putting family at risk, leading to first time experiencing such physical distance and isolation from family.

 

I also lost connection with friendships and my supporr group due to friends moving away for work

 

After 1 year of living together, discovering boyfriend was emotionally cheating with other girls. He said she was better to talk to because she didn't ask so many questions. While working through first instance, finding out he was continuing to talk to/give money to other girls

 

Broke up with boyfriend but continuing to live in same area, moving in with a friend for my career but spending more time at home with family and attempting to rebuild relationship with family 

 

Then as I was gaining footing, I discovered my father had been cheating on mother with a woman for 10 years+. I don't want to tell my family because I don't want to break it apart as it was just starting to come together, but I'm being torn apart holding it in

 

I am feeling completely overwhelmed and looking for advice/where to go from here/past experiences.

 

I haven't been able to sleep properly or eat because I'm assuming I've been too much on edge.

I be seeking professional help but I need to sort out my work schedule (working almost 7 days a week) 

 

Thank you 

 

 

 

5 REPLIES 5

Re: What do I do? Drowning in misfortunate events one after another

Sorry, didn't realise I posted twice. Thought the first one didn't go through. Put in application for this post to be deleted

Re: What do I do? Drowning in misfortunate events one after another

@Mish_  Welcome to the forums.

 

Thats a lot to be juggling. It’s no wonder you are finding things difficult.

 

I’m sorry things are so tricky at home, but I’m guessing the truth will eventually come out. 

 

Regarding advice, I really don’t have any, other than to try and look after yourself through this.

 

I’m glad you’ve found the forums. There are so many here with lived experiences.

 

Look around and join in other threads.

Re: What do I do? Drowning in misfortunate events one after another

Hey @Mish_ I just saw your post and wanted to reach out. Firstly I am so sorry about all you've had to navigate through - and just want to take a moment to offer huge props for perservering through all of these curve balls. It is a lot for anyone to manage so I am really glad you have reached out to connect with others here, you're not alone and certainly peers on this forum can offer up some strategies and insight. As painful as what you're dealing with is, it's all external and circumstantial which means it is finite, it is not forever and there are definitely ways you can disconnect from that energy.

 

Do you see a counsellor at all? For first steps on how to access support feel free to reach out to our wonderful team at the SANE Help Centre. It's confidential and they offer chat, phone or email. You will be able to work through with a counsellor how to not carry this burden of your Father's, and process the broken trust of your ex partner as well as the current global events. You seem to be a really intelligent and strong person, you deserve really good things in life, I don't doubt you will get to the otherside of this. How are you feeling now about everything since your last post? Heart

Re: What do I do? Drowning in misfortunate events one after another

Thank you for reaching out @nashy,

Apologies for the late response. I've been feeling less emotions and more numb. At points during the day/night, I have moment where I break down crying.

 

There's been further development to my situation. I've told my mother about the incident and she has revealed to me that she was still in the process of getting a divorce. She has also revealed that my father has threatened to end her life if it happens.

I will be setting up emergency contacts on my mother's phone.

 

I feel like I need to be stronger than I am right now to help my mum.

 

Re: What do I do? Drowning in misfortunate events one after another

Hello @Mish_ Thanks for letting us know how you're travelling, you're a very caring and wonderful person to be looking out for your Mum. I just want to let you know our team at the SANE Help Centre could be great to have a confidential chat with about this, they may have some really practical strategies and tips to help you with your Mum. Also feel free to reach out to 1800 Respect as well as a support person these services are also available to you Heart. How are you feeling today? We're here to listen you don't have to be strong alone, sitting with you Heart

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