Forum Etiquette (Netiquette)

[Jacques]

Irl means "in real life"

[Zoe7]

You are not ranting at all @Sophia1 you are posting a very honest and personal response and that should be what the forum is about. We all have our own views, attitudes, life experience, etc. and what you have written is completely valid ...and I am hearing you 

I do understand your point about writing a response, stepping back for a moment and then the discussion has moved on from that particular point- I think we have all often felt a little 'left out' when this happens - that is not something unique to just you Hon  Sometimes we can feel alone or isolated among many too...it depends on our emotional state at the time.

I also understand that reading many backpages is not something that many have time to do - what I am referring to here is more about knowing the 'tone' of the conversation i.e. is it real someone in distress is being supported or is it a general conversation - as sometimes it can be a deterrent for someone to continued to be supported when another member wants to start a new topic or bring up a different issue - so in that respect it can be that member who then feels isolated. It is a tricky one (I get that) but we need to see all members - both longer term and newer members as all having the same rights to be heard and supported.

[Sophia1]

It has not been my intention to overtake this thread...this is how I am left feeling...

my passion can be so overwhelming...too much so for many..this I live with..

so please ...yes read my thoughts...please still write your own..

please do not allow me to have monopolised this discussion and then have brought it to a sudden halt.

The above are my feelings...not right or wrong..

Zoe needs to hear more from all of you...She has started something that has been in need of addressing for some time now...

your thoughts are valuable and very much wanted...

I will step back ..

[Sophia1]

we are both agreeing in many areas...just approaching it from different angles...

again using our own unique ways...

good luck with your good idea...

oops @Zoe7

[Zoe7]

I would encourage you to not step back @Sophia1 as I believ what you have been saying is both valued and needed in such a discussion. I understand if you feel like you have to for yourself but I am totally enjoying reading your thoughts nd discussing your points with you... your opinions are important 

[NikNik]

Hi everyone - thanks again @Zoe7 for starting this discussion.

I appreciate the time and thought that went into everyone's responses. What I want to clarify is that this isn't about people changing who they are or censoring what they say. 

This is a discussion about netiquette which is common across the whole online environment - some of which will be relevant for this forum, and some that's not.

As Zoe said, the purpose is not just so other people have a good experience of the forums, but so you as an individual have a good experience too.

Examples of universal netiquette already mentioned include being mindful of:

- the use of ALL CAPS is often interpreted as 'YELLING'

- doing a search about a topic before posting about it (there might already be a great discussion about the topic you might learn from, and you can contribute to)

-  using uncommon slang

One I would add would be to be:

- be mindful of what title you when creating a new discussion. There's so many threads here and the search function is being used more frequently - being specific in your title will help get the most relevant discussions

Our Community Guidelines around Respect cover a lot of the behaviour aspect of forum use. I just look at 'netquette' as common courteousy in the online world. 

Netiquette is so embedded in what we do unconciously every day in the online world, that I think most of us forget that they are important they are

*edited slightly because I was typing too quickly 🙂 

[Former-Member]

Testing - (just lost a long post, will try again)

[Former-Member]

Thank you for inviting public discussion on this matter. My thoughts on this question are:- Forum etiquette to me would be to not speak about other members or incidents they are involved in gossiping openly in any fashion on a public forum in any negative light, bullying them, treating them "indifferently" and engaging (tagging) other members into it, which serves only to create conflict and make the targeted members feel ostracised, humiliated, violated and places them at risk. As that is disrespect, hypocrisy and poor internet etiquette at its heights.

Also good etiquette guidance to me on a mental health forum is placing a trigger warning before speaking on topics like "suicide" and that which refers to it, as such can trigger others harmfully. Being respectful (polite) is being thoughtful and considerate of how ones written word is conveyed to "the best of their ability" and common sense a sense adults; and that ability for some can differ when unwell, with upbringing, education and perception levels, what stressors they are under and each person's style of communication; "racial, religious, gender and culture differences of what is "social etiquette" differ" and that has to also be taken into account -  and unintentional indiscretions can occur.

Imposing such rules and a thread has the potential to actually create conflict here unfortunately which those struggling do not need because of a disgruntled few, putting others off posting here feeling overwhelmed with rules and judgement. Internet Etiquette is common courtesy and common sense and with attempts to being directed what to say to say to reasonable adults in this manner by are few can be insulting to our intelligence /sensibilities and oppressive.

"Community guidelines are already in place that have addressed breaches around disrespect, that if acted on keep us safe and works." Any more can be viewed as dictorial and oppression putting off members. 

Such incidents where disrespect has occurred needs unbiased professional discretion, moderation and guidance behind the scenes without influence through unprofessional familiarity with a few members. 

In my personal experience here on the forum alot of public threads that are not under the social section or such lighter threads of the forum, will attract new members to post who are feeling overwhelmed and struggling if the title is reflecting the way they are feeling. If overwhelmed and in distress they may not have the presence of mind to read right back, as some threads are very long to assess the nature of it and the group conversation taking place at the time.

If this is upsetting some members due to interrupting their personal conversations my suggestion would be that rather impose rules on the distressed new members who are reaching out as invited by the forum, it would be helpful to create "private threads" under another section of the forum where conversations can continue uninterrupted together. This helps them to continue there group support and those who are reaching out in desperation can also receive the support they need by being responded to without feeling "they are interfering". The latter is happening now and is a very big issue on here that disadvantages many members. The latter mentioned suggestion is the only way to avoid any misunderstandings or alleged conflict because someone "feels their personal space is being invaded". That's referring to a private thread to others anyway and they don't want to naturally interfere.

Another issue that I would be concerned about arising by imposing rules on members on social eqitteque would be the discouragement of others to "open up" in fear of posting something that may unintentionally upset the sensitivity of others and/or what they say can be taken the wrong way (thinking what was written was about them when it was not). This is a real possibility on a mental health forum. Another concern Is being vilified or censored for their respectful opinion when someone else does not like it. Members cannot take responsibility for others misperceptions or misunderstandings of what they say that intended no harm. 

I think kindness, compassion and tolerance towards all members, regardless of some mishaps in communication, is the best guide towards internet etiquette and to not leave anyone out. A mental health forum differs from a social environment as others "do not have to get along in order to have "the right" to get well". As a cancer patient deserves the same compassionate treatment from a doctor and staff even though the treating staff may not like or get along with certain patients,they have to overcome their negativity to offer equal care; - it is the same ethical standing of equality for mental health support and groups being in adherence to its mission statement.  

I agree with Marazita on referring to it as a guidance and/or suggestions as to avoid vilifying any other member for difference of opinion, freedom of expression, culture, beliefs, personality clashes or their mental state. 

[Zoe7]

Good point @NikNik - having a meaningful title can also help with members being able to search for similar/existing threads that meet their 'needs' already without beginning a new thread. Often questions we would like to ask for a response for have already been covered in other threads.

[outlander]

Good points @NikNik

With the title though often the topic does go off track and i know im guilty of doing it too. For example the thread ive got going is called 'rough time' and of course i use it when i need to for the intended purpose of the thread and encourage others to use if to if they would like but i do find sometimes the convo varies between different things so can be misleading to other members. I would move the convo elsewhere like a social thread but it probably wouldnt make much sense to anyone else except the people im interacting with at the time so would bring out those left out and those 'im intruding on a convo' feelings.i like to try to keep things all in one place rather than spreading it out everywhere and it feels safer for me to do that when im struggling more. I know quite alot of new and older members find it hard to join in with the longer type threads so i like @Former-Member 's suggestion about making a separate section on the forums for those sorts of threads ( possibly the thread being moved after a certain amount of time or number of responses) perhaps calling it by another name other than 'private' though as id still encourage people to join in where they would like.
Hope that makes sense.