Lived Experience Forum

[anon1988]

First post here and hope I get it thanks.

I don't know what I want to achieve from this at all. I guess feeling nobody understands and knowing this page has people with lived experiences helps a little.

I've suffered anxiety for several years now and after a medication that I had severe side effects and the dreaded suicidal ideations I became fearful of medication

My symptoms have been so bad in the last 6 weeks I've just not wanted to sleep not eating so many physical symptoms I'm basically a whole text book on new and experienced symptoms. 

Anyway it helps to talk about them and relate to others in some way. 

But I feel I'm not even myself and will never ever get better. .

Today I seen a physchiatrist who advised if I don't take meds they will have no option but to send me three hrs from home to a mh ward. 

Because there is no beds here. 

I'm horrified

I took the lowest dose possible and while I feel symptoms may be better a little I'm still so horrified I took it I'm so tired and I'm so upset with myself I did it. Anyone suffer with such confusion within themselves 

[Snowie]

Hi @anon1988 

I'm sorry to read that you are going through so much at the moment. I can understand the lack of wanting to do anything.

I take meds for my mental health. It is a hard balance to find something that helps us yet being able to deal with the side effects. Sometimes I wonder if they are really helping, but I guess I need to put some trust into my psychiatrist. I'm hoping he knows what he is doing.

Do you have any other supports at all?

Please know that you are not alone, we are here with you through all of this.

[tyme]

Hey @anon1988 ,

I hear you. I'm sorry you have had such unpleasant experiences with medication. I can see why you are hesitant to take medication. 

At the same time, this log may be helpful for you Life on an SSRI . It's a true account of what it was like for someone who started off extremely anxious about taking medication - @ArraDreaming 

There are so many meds out there that if one doesn't work, it doesn't mean all will fail. It's about finding what works for you.

Go slow. Take it slowly. Good on you for giving it a go. We recognise how scary it is.

Even for myself, I was so reluctant to take meds at first. I fought it for a few years, but now I look back, I don't think I'd be as well as I am without it.

Take care,

tyme

[anon1988]

@Snowie support not really just family telling me to get help and friends saying if you can't take it get someone to put it in a drink so you don't know. 

I took one today it's only a low dose just feel drowsy I suppose relaxed a little more but still thoughts. Friday night so ordered pizza for kids and well felt sick even dishing it. I had an up and go which I haven't done so it's something. 

My children's father has moved in with me to help out but support no I moved to a regional area and don't have friends or anything here I don't really chat to anyone on Facebook either as nobody understands 

[anon1988]

After taking one tablet yesterday I have woken with such a horrible heavy head and heavy body almost as though it's not mine.

I have this dreaded thoughts that go in circles. Nope I'm getting worse,and this is never going to get better alongside take another one and see if it stops it as you can't do this.

Anxiety has always been explained to me as fight or flight ie when a lion runs at you you would tense up and instantly run or fight this doesn't feel like this at all instead of feels I'm about to die.

[Losingmyshiz]

Sending you the biggest hug I can muster