Lived Experience Forum

[Former-Member]

I'm not sure what to say, but I was just wondering what other people's experiences were with coping with past events. 

The thing is, nothing that bad has happened to me. I mean there were some not so great experiences, but in the grand scheme of things not as big a deal as my resultant reaction is. And I think my therapist thinks I'm a massive whinger. *I* think I'm a massive whinger. 

Why do I react in such a massive way after relatively minor events, when people on here have gone through so much worse and still managed to live their lives?

What's wrong with me and what's caused me to be such an over-reacter. Why do I get anxiety at the drop of a hat. Why am I so stuck with aspects of my life?

Sorry, I don't expect anyone to solve my problems, just feel like letting it out. 

[Former-Member]

Hi @Former-Member 🙂

I've been meaning to come here and reply to this since this morning.

I think a dose of perspective can be really helpful sometimes. Looking at what other people survive and go through can help me get out of my little world and into the bigger one sometimes.

In saying that, I think it can also be unhelpful sometimes too. Comparing yourself and your suffering to others could lead to feeling even more frustrated at yourself which is what I'm thinking may be happening for you? I'm also thinking that shame, embarrassment, being really hard on yourself etc are other things that comparing others to ourselves might bring about or make worse.

It's so important to try and remember that we are all unique people, with unique experiences and unique minds that process our experiences. What you might breeze through I might struggle with, and vice versa.

Is that a helpful way of looking at things?

[Former-Member]

Thanks @Former-Member, I think I might ask my therapist this week. 😊
I just feel like a failure going into therapy with my relatively minor problems and looking at the extent of what others have gone through compared to me.

[Former-Member]

I really feel for you because as if it isn't hard enough actually going through those big intense reactions, but you also have the added stress of thinking they shouldn't be there because others have it harder! That's like a double blow.

I'm really curious to know about why you think your therapist thinks you're a massive whinger too (if you'd like to share of course)? Have you brought this up with them?

Regardless of whether you think you should be feeling one way or another, the simple fact is that you are. You can't change that you're experiencing these things by being hard on yourself about them (or maybe you can but surely there are nicer ways to address them). What you can do is acknowledge they're there are work towards addressing them - which it sounds like you're doing.

While I'm rambling, the other thing I'm thinking is that you don't have to have experienced some huge big bad thing to experience anxiety (or other mental health issues). I do believe that a substantial proportion of mental health issues are caused by trauma, but that doesn't mean all of them are.

Do you like TED talks? I recently watched an awesome one on depression that im happy to find again if it's something that you might be interested in (if it's ok to post here too).

[Heart]

Hello @Former-Member, Please donot feel like a failure for seeing a therapist for what you think is a "minor problem." So far what you have told us of yourself can still be overwhelming to anyone. 

All of us here have major, minor and in-between problem and just need someone/somewhere to support and understand what we are going through.

speak soon

[Former-Member]

I guess I think so because of how I react to certain topics. We were talking about it once and apparently I dissociated and were talking about it a week or two later and he said I made it sound like I was R**ed. And now I can't have intimate relationships with anyone and if I do I think I dissociate then too.
And in actuality I can't remember what happened to me when I was little, only flashes and when I was a bit older wasn't that big a deal, I just reacted really badly.
I guess I want to know why I react so badly.
I was accused of a traffic crime that I had to go to court over, I didn't do it, but for that whole year I was so paranoid and anxious I stopped driving cause the anxiety was so bad.
I just wish I didn't switch into anxiety so easily.

[Former-Member]

hi @Former-Member

im glad your ont he forums expressing what your having trouble with. sometimes it really can help 🙂

reacting to trauma of any sort no matter how minor is very normal for a start.

your therapist isnt there to judge you, if they didnt think they could help you or they didnt want to help you then they would have passed you onto someone more in your area of speciality. trust me your therapist doesnt judge you one bit, they are actually trained not to judge you, just imagine how many people they see in a day, a week , a month and surley there a plenty of people whom have simialr issues to the ones your dealing with.

im just curious though, have you been diagnosed with a mental health condition? it sounds alot like GAD which i have as well so can kinda pick up on the signs and being constanlty 'over worried and over reacting even to minor things is a sign of GAD.

[Former-Member]

Oh and @Former-Member i agree with @Heart.

your dealing with alot as well and if you have dealt with trauma in the past even if you dont remember it, little things that your brain associates with that trauma can either 'over react' or it can try to completely blank (dissociate) it out all together.

dont ever feel bad for going to a therapist. EVER. everyone exeriences things differently so what might seem catastophic to you but minor to other and vise versa. does that make sense?

[Former-Member]

Schizoaffective.
But I've been getting more and more anxious over the years. Actually that's not true, I'm developing more and more of the symptoms of anxiety over the years.
One doc said I had ptsd, and another said I didn't. And I'm not sure about the rest?

[Former-Member]

I think I'll bring this up with my therapist when I see him. I'm not sure I have the confidence to, but I think I probably should.