Lived Experience Forum

[Twizzy]

Hi I'm just wondering if it should end things now? But I'm also feeling stuck about my living arrangement.  

My situation: have been dating this guy for two months now but due my shared flating situation,  the owner of the house needs me out by end of Dec/ early Jan next year.  The guy has offered me his place to move in however in my history of dating/ relationships I've never lived with a boyfriend. I prefer to get to really know someone first and even then I need to feel good about that person before moving in with someone - also because I really despise the trouble of moving and so its a big decision. As you can see,I don't have this preference. What should I do? I did already agree to take on his offer but now I think we are both starting to feel that the honeymoon /bliss/ rise coloured glasses of dating is over and now we are facing the realities of our differences - sexual compatibility and him living a conservative lifestyle vs me more open, honest with sex and wanting someone who is willing to move another state like me /travel. 

[Perimberlat]

Moving in with someone who you are in a relationship with , in practical day to day living terms, is rather like being married. One of the most unfortunate things about living with someone or being married is that if you rush into such an arrangement , you only really start to get to know the other person properly after you are living together. Now I am not implying that rushing into a living together type of relationship is always a bad thing  : some people marry very soon after meeting and have very happy marriages.  My point is , that it is probably better to wait and get to know him better. ( Unless you can't find another place to stay : better to live with someone you don't know very well than to be homeless ! )  He may be understanding if you decide to wait.You express some reservations : differences between you. No two people in a couple are totally alike. Sometimes you can learn to live with some differences, others perhaps not. When making a decision like this, you need to consider which choice gives you the most comfortable feeling, the most peace of mind. 

[Twizzy]

Thanks for your advice. I've thought about this and i think i may just try the one step at a time approach. At least both him and I agree about that when if move in. I can just try to just go about my life as normal prior to meeting him e.g. meet up with friends, keep up with my routines etc.. ( Give him space) then maybe I could see it potentially work. If that doesn't help then I guess I would need to move again...

[anon1988]

My advice would be to take it easy if you don't feel right about it then don't do it have a look for affordable housing etc however maybe you are just self doubting ?