Lived Experience Forum

[ro54]

I have been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder today by my GP.

What I feel sad, angry and overwhelmed about is that I can't stop thinking about those who abused me physically and mentally when I was in high school. Part of me think why I feel and act this way for all this time is all because of them. And they get to live a normal life. This is not fair.

[Captain24]

Hi @ro54 

Welcome to the forums. 

I don’t have BPD but I do understand the high school situation. 

It leaves so much damage and they don’t know how much it leaves behind. Do you have a psychologist are anything to help you work through that trauma? 

I am slowly working through the bullying of school and home life with my psych. It is hard to confront but I’m hoping I will be able to pack it away when I eventually work through it all. 

[tyme]

Hey there @ro54 ,

I'm sorry to hear how hard to must be to have been mistreated and abused at such a tender age.

I hear that you feel it is so unfair. 

I also have BPD. I have had some terrible experiences, but I've come out much better. It hasn't been an easy road, but it's been one worth while. You can recover from BPD. Despite the hurt and the BPD, I couldn't ask for a better life.

You are the one that writes your own book. You cannot change what has happened, but you are in control of the future.

You are not alone on this journey. I'd love to connect with you more. Feel free to drop by Raising Awareness of BPD - Flipping the Script .

I'm here for you. Hugs, tyme

[ro54]

Hi @Captain24 

This is all new to me and I am navigating what my treatment plans are with my GP.

They referred me to a local psychologist to work through.

Probably I can start the session in two months hopefully if the wait list is not too long...

What I feel positive about is I look forward to work through my trauma and unpack these with someone who will understand how I feel and why I act this way.

[fluffylight]

Hi @ro54
Welcome to the forums 😊
Here to have a chat and hold space for you 💛

I want to acknowledge your ability to seek support and care for yourself by reaching out here, a very warm welcome awaits for you in these forums.

This sounds really difficult, I'm sorry that things from the past are coming up for you and it feels like the people from your past get to live differently to you.

Although I don't experience BPD.. I do remember getting my diagnosis for the first time. I remember running to the bathroom and crying so much.. feeling betrayed by the people that have affected my life and bought me to this dark place. I share this to remind you that you are not alone 💛

I see that you have supports in place and are looking forward to unpacking things, its sometimes feels for me that I can take the power back and heal. 

Sending lots of light 💫
fluffylight x