Lived Experience Forum

[Former-Member]

Anyone have any ideas what I should talk about in therapy tomorrow?
I'm completely at a loss.
I've done a verbal diarrhoea of all my problems so far and now I've run out of problems that I'm williing to divulge and I have no idea what to talk about.  

I feel like I want to avoid any remaining topics, but I don't know what to talk about instead.
I still barely know this person as well. 

[NikNik]

Hey @Former-Member

I think it might have been @utopia .. or maybe @oceangirl (I apologise to whoever it was... I can't find the post now!) who said that it's up to you as to where you want therapy to go. I found that quite empowering!

What do YOU want to get out of the session...
Do you want practical tips?
Do you want to hear their opinion on some of thing problems you have mentioned before?
Do you want to create a recovery plan?
Do you want to learn more about what their approach to therapy is?

It's totally up to you what you share & what you don't 🙂

I think it's great you're putting a lot of thought into it!

[Former-Member]

Thanks @NikNik, I'm not sure I have as much control as you suggest. It's psychodynamic therapy and I'm still trying to work out what I'm supposed to be doing. But I don't think I'll get practical tips or hear their opinion, or create a recovery plan.
But I guess you also have a point that I *do* control it in some ways. I don't have to talk about what I don't want to until I'm ready. (If Im ever ready?).
I guess my inner 'instant-gratification-monkey' (look him up, it's quite a funny blog post) wants things fixed now, without any discomfort or pain.

Do you have any suggestions for what I should talk about in that kind of therapy?

[Doc_Gonzo]

Hello Diprotodon,

I encourage people to think about creating a written list of things to take into a therapy sessions to refer to if the mind gets a little muddy:

Things I like to bring to the discussion in the first few sessions are:

What is the therapists background? I like to know this because how they answer this question can offer insight into the sort of therapist they are. As in some will go I have degree's blah blah blah and some will go, 'I am most passionate about...., with a history in....' et cetera.

I like to take the opportunity to raise any concerns and in your case if you are not sure where things are going, I would be bringing this up with the therapist. Literally just say to them something like. I have been wondering where these sessions will be going, or what is the purpose of our sessions... use your words, your way.

It pays to think about what is playing on your mind outside of therapy sessions, is there one thing in particular that is more prevalent than anything else? is there something that you find more distracted by then any other thing?

Getting to know the therapist is a great way of figuring out whether this person is for you. If you feel you can trust in their abilities than I have found that I feel comfortable at times saying, I don't know what to say today, or I am struggling to speak today, I am unsure what to talk about... etc and if they are good at what they do, their line of questioning should draw some stuff into the room.

At the end of the day, if you are finding sessions are not working for you, then it may pay to investigate another therapist

[Lunar]

Hello @Former-Member,

I can understand about your uncertainties around what to talk about, it can be overwheming especially if you hardly know your therapist. I think I agree with what @Doc_Gonzo said about just focusing on getting to know your therapist so you build that trust and rappore, which is more helpful than the actual psychodynamic technique. Then you are comfortable to bring up things such as your want to 'fix things' without any discomfort or pain, and go into what that disocmfort or pain actually means for you. Maybe now just try to keep the session to what your comfortable talking about and don't feel pressured to go into things you don't want to share with this new person.

A list can be good too, such as wriitng down things you don't want to delve into or you feel okay talking about?

Lunar

[NikNik]

How'd it go @Former-Member ? Sorry I haven't been around any earlier to respond to your earlier question.

[Former-Member]

Hey @Former-Member.

i just saw this. How did it go? 

Im at a bit of a loss in therapy at the moment too. Mine is also driven by me. It feels like there's soooo much towork out but when I'm in the room nothing seems so important anymore. I guess it's like going to the doctors and then feel better when you get there. I hope all is well. 

[Former-Member]

Hi @NikNik and @Former-Member,
It went okay and I did admit to him about not remembering the week before. He offered to explain it to me, but I declined. I think I will ask him to this week. (I wonder if it's related to why I don't remember anything before the age of 9.)
I think it really comes down to the fact that I'm scared of pain and there is so much there. I'm not depressed or unwell, I'm just carrying around a baggage of pain.
We talked about random stuff and he said it was useful to learn about me and my values. (gosh I'm scared he's reading this.... I hope he is not).
All I can think of in there is stuff that I don't want to talk about. Which probably means that I should. But I don't want to make it a pain fest each week. And I don't know what I need to talk about to get well either. I feel like I need a road map.

[BlueBay]

Hi @Former-Member
I so get what you're saying. There is still stuff that I need to talk to my psych about after 7 yrs that I fear so much. Maybe it's because we're trying to protect ourselves from more pain. I hope one day I can. I joe you can too because it will be a huge release to be able to talk to someone. I know it took me a very long time to talk to my psych about my issues.
I'm thinking of you. Xxoo