Peer Group Chat // The Power of Possibility // Thursday 27th April 2023, 7-8:30PM AEDT

[TideisTurning]

Hey @Appleblossom, I did ask, and I'm grateful for the time you took to provide a considered and thought-out response. 

Nuance is definitely an important concept and thing to both give thought to and allow space for. The idea of false hope is tricky, but important, and I’m curious too on your perspective here. What do you see ‘false hope’ as being or looking like for you?

There are a few things based on what you’ve shared that may be of interest to you;

1 an upcoming Peer Group Chat discussion around when certain things can become toxic or ‘too much of a good thing’ so to speak. we will try and tag you but also keep an eye out for it 😊

2 you may like the story and book of doctor Ben Bravery, who went through the medical system as a patient before deciding to become a doctor and aspiring to be the kind of doctor he wanted as a patient. More on Dr. Ben here. 

[Appleblossom]

Thanks @TideisTurning 

Eg when people are not prepared to listen or understand me and keep trotting out cliches or one  liners...eg when my father died the first time in years that I mentioned he was dead, I was told, but he is in heaven in a bright tone, that did nothing to address the circumstances of his death, my feelings about it and what life is like without a father, which mainly meant me being an adult far too young.

Eg., A lady held her hand out to me recently and said she was going to give me a gift. a worry free day. I did not quite understand and she insisted I take it from her hand.  I did so, but at a deeper level became agitated and upset with her.  She had been patronising to me over 2 or 3 meetings and kept telling me to feed my son more beans and legumes, without even enquiring what my food style as a mum was.  I already err on the side of beans, and not cans of baked beans, so I gave him cake instead.  

Eg., when new migrants tell me my son is fine, if I have mentioned a discrete 'I am concerned about my son', without understanding his predicaments.  I do not think I should have to explain, but it would be better if people did not presume.

[TideisTurning]

@Appleblossom, it sounds like you've had a lot of invalidation and dismissiveness from others who don't take the time to understand or really listen. I can absolutely see where experiences like those you've described would lead to false hope, such a hard thing to sit with in any case, let alone when it's learned as a result of others letting you down! I'm sorry, and I hope there will be more opportunities in future for genuine hope 💚