I can’t cope

[Captain24]

It’s really pretty and the views are amazing. We went on the cable car, skyway and the train. @Jynx. The train is awesome mum fell off the seat in the really steep descent! I just laughed and then nearly fell off mine. Karma!!! 

We walked for ages. Then found somewhere for lunch and the cockatoo was so close he was nearly sitting in our shoulders. I’ve got a photo of how close but mums in it so I can’t share. 

I hope you have a great day and I’ll see you at 8 for a little while. I have to go to bed early as I’m really tired today and I have another 4:30 start in the morning. 

[Jynx]

@Captain24 bahaha that is hilarious, love the image of you laughing so hard you fall off too! You are more suave tho ahaha

Cuuuute 💜

Ooooof how was the early start?

[Captain24]

The early start was ok @Jynx. It’s the time I get up every dayshift. It’s hard though. 

It was pretty funny. 

Im feeling like I just want to cry tonight. 

[Jynx]

Aww hun, hope you're okay @Captain24 

(づ ᴗ _ᴗ)づ♡

Exhaustion/overwhelm or something else?

[Captain24]

I’m not ok @Jynx. I don’t know why… I feel really bad. I don’t care for much right now. 

Im really sorry

[Jynx]

@Captain24 first off, there doesn't always have to be a 'why' - your feelings are still valid.

Secondly, I stumbled on this the other day, maybe it could help? 

Whatever the case may be, take it slow and try to be gentle and kind with yourself ok? 

(っᵔ◡ᵔ)っ

[Captain24]

A comment is stuck in my head. People. Working too long. Clothes are touching me. Stuck in a truck. Too much socialisation . @Jynx 

It’s all too much. I hurt deep inside. I hate myself right now. 

I don’t deserve to be gentle. I’m a failure and it’s my fault

[Jynx]

That's not a failure hun that sounds like sensory overwhelm @Captain24 - makes me into a cranky lil gremlin, and for sure is easy to turn that feeling inward into self-blame. But legit your brain just needs a bit of downtime by the sounds of it? Or were there particularly stressful things that happened socially today?. 

[Captain24]

Nothing overly stressful just messing up on the dump but apparently I wasn’t the only one @Jynx. Someone criticised me yesterday and said the same thing she has said for the 3rd time. She won’t let up. It’s running around in my head and so is the thoughts of what I should have done that I didn’t do. 

I just talked to a lot of people today at meal times. One guy asked why I looked so sad but he really didn’t want an answer. 

I can’t do today. Now Pix’s wants something and I don’t know what she wants. She is annoying me and I feel bad because I love her so much. 

I thought the meds should fix this. Isn’t that what they are for? 

[Jynx]

@Captain24 aww hun, I wish. They help the brain fog, help with keeping on track, but they don't 'fix' anything. Cos first off, we're not broken, and secondly, the things that traumatised us still traumatised us, so there's still work in recovery to be able to process those things. If they were able to fix us, everyone would be scoffing em and there'd be no one with mental health struggles. 

Honestly sounds like a difficult day and I'm not surprised you're feeling blech because of it. My kitties get on my nerves hella bad too sometimes - it happens, every pet owner has gotten significantly irritated by their pet I can promise you that.