I can’t cope

[Captain24]

That’s just the damage from the roo. That’s not the service that it needs. @Ru-bee. I’m just hoping it passes the pink slip or I’m f@cked. 

It’s just added to everything else. Everything is falling apart. I’m falling apart. 

[Ru-bee]

Fingers crossed @Captain24 

I know it's just another thing to deal with right now, there's been so much on your plate. It's pretty amazing that you have been holding it together, and I know that's been taking a lot of energy to do, so it makes sense that there'll be days like today when you can't keep it together quite so well.

I'm finishing up soon but just want to remind yourself to gentle with yourself and know that days like this suck but they don't undo all the hard work you've done

[Captain24]

I know you’ve gone @Ru-bee but I’m responding anyway. 

I’ve been suppressing so much by pushing so hard. I think things just got all too much. My barriers fell and I can’t hold them up. I’m falling with them and I’m falling fast. 

Im trying to be gentle but the thoughts are loud and dark. I’m trying to watch a movie and just keep slipping into the darkness.

[tyme]

Ello @Captain24 

[Captain24]

Hey @tyme 

How are you? 

[tyme]

What's happening? Did you have an okayish day? @Captain24 

[Captain24]

I’m falling apart @tyme 

I did change my bed linen and bath the dogs though. It took a lot to be able to do it. I slept most of the afternoon. 

My world is just crashing down around me. 

[tyme]

That sounds so hard @Captain24 . What would be helpful?

[Captain24]

I don’t know @tyme. I’m cooking myself steak for dinner so I’m trying to eat a decent meal. I’m about to watch another movie. I just can’t get those dark thoughts out of my head. I am trying though, I’m trying self care but it’s not working.

I know this is not recovery focused so you can delete an forget about me if you want. 

[tyme]

I had pork with roast veges @Captain24 

How do you like your steak?

Hoenstly, if a movie helps with the thoughts, by all means, go ahead.