I can’t cope

[Ru-bee]

No you didn't say anything wrong @Captain24, I'm just noticing how hard it's seeming to get out of these patterns of thought today which made me want to check in.

I'm glad that you've had a little break by getting some sleep, though it might not have been so restful with those vivid dreams?

I am like that too sometimes, mostly if I try to meditate when I'm overwhelmed - the harder I try to focus on meditating the more overwhelmed I feel. I find in those times doing a grounding can be helpful, I usually do the 5 senses one, but sometimes that's overwhelming too. In those times I google different types of grounding. I've used some of the ones suggested here before, maybe something in there could be good for you too 

[Captain24]

One weird dream was. Someone was in my yard and left the gates opened. They whipper snippered some of it and left my mower out in the rain. How stupid, like where did my brain come up with that? @Ru-bee 

I tried saying the months backwards, that was pretty easy actually and I did from 100 backwards in 3’s just do you know it ends on 1. It’s fine in the moment but when it stops it all comes back. I can’t do visualisation as I don’t see pictures. That’s why CBT mostly doesn’t work. What am I doing wrong? 

[Captain24]

I’m sitting here crying

 

[Ru-bee]

Aren't our dreams funny @Captain24 sometimes I have the whackiest dreams, and other times they're so boring or mundane, like I'm driving somewhere, or I'm at work. Do you often remember your dreams? 

You don't see pictures? That's so interesting! I love hearing about other people's inner workings like that, like how some people don't have an internal voice

I know you're really going through it today, is there anything that might offer you some comfort right now?

[Captain24]

I don’t really dream a lot @Ru-bee. But lately they have been I bit more. They always wake me up and in the morning I’ll remember that I had a dream but not what it was. 

You know how they say put your thoughts on a leaf and watch them float down the stream… I can’t do that. Anything visual is not possible. Like I can’t see an apple in my head but I can say it in words. Like describe it. 

Im just sitting here with the tv actually turned on. I might cook some dinner soon. Pix is asking for dinner. Then I might try my best to get into the shower. That’ll be really hard though. 

[Ru-bee]

Look at that @Captain24, having the TV on is a step forward for sure! I know today has been a hard one, but you're getting through it. 

I'm about to head off for the day but I hope you have a good weekend and that tomorrow is a little better than today was. 

[Captain24]

Thanks for today @Ru-bee. I know I haven’t made it easy

[Captain24]

Not what it could mean, what it does mean. 

 

[Captain24]

Hey @tyme 

Not sure if you will be around or are too busy. 

I having a really really bad day. Like extreme. 

But.. I think I passed the accountability buddy. I did all my house work, changed all my bed linen, bathed both dogs, did all the ironing and washed all the bed linen and towels. The only thing left to do is fold and pack away my beds stuff. I think that’ll have to wait until tomorrow though. 

How did you go? 

[tyme]

Hey @Captain24 ,

What's happening on your side?

Well done on your list today. Sounds like you got quite a few things done!

I didn't touch my list unfortunately, but I hope to tomorrow.

What are you up to? Why are things so hard?