Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[NikNik]

That's a tough one @Mama_Penguin - what you described is what some would stay is "typical" teenage behaviour and that your expectations are realistic, on the other hand, I can understand why you would worry about him being unwell and having high expectations.

In my experience, I don't lower my expectations, but I am flexible. This works well if you are able to tell when your loved one is well or going downhill.

Would you say he understands your expectations. Are there key things he knows he has to do?

[Shaz51]

Hello everyone @Mama_Penguin, @NikNik, @Heartworks, @Jane4, @Titanic,

jsut wondering ,my husband has been given medictaion for bipolar because the doctor are not sure of what he has , would the medication work if he has it or would it not work at all

[NikNik]

What an excellent list @Heartworks A great mixture of tips - I really like practical strategies.

[NikNik]

Hi @Shaz51
That's a really tough one. Different medications are used for a few different diagnosis - so there's a chance it will help.

Regardless, I always suggest that people keep a diary of their moods (or for carers, a diary of what they observe their loved ones mood seems to be). It could just be a mood scale of 1-10 or 1-5, but it helps to reflect back on when you next go to the hospital.

[Mazarita]

@NikNik, to answer your question about having bipolar and what it's like being cared for, my partner is the best for making sure we both eat and basic practical things that I appreciate in a big way. He is not so good when I need emotional nurturance or gentleness. I regularly feel emotionally alone and like I'm just lucky anyone will put up with me. There are other good things between us though and we've been together through thick and thin for a long time. 

[Jane4]

I totally understand your frustration Mama_Penguin. They can appear to be so selfish, especially when they are 'good' and not offering to help after we have been doing so much for them. When he is 'good' it so hard to bring up the criticisms, because you fear you will tip them over the edge again. My 2nd husband (his step dad) gets really frustrated and that affects our marriage. Should we just leave them to sort out their own mess?

[Mama_Penguin]

HI @NikNik

Thanks for your question about strategies for coping with periods of mania and depression. We now know the signs of when our son is heading into a period of deep depression. The mania we can cope with (so far). We are lucky in that we have a fantastic psychiatrist who consults at a Young Adult Mental Health Unit. When we know our son is heading into periods of high stress, or deep depression, or when we're not coping well with his symptoms, we book him in there. Its a very holistic program they offer - usually 3 week minimum. For our son, its a safe place for him. He agrees pretty readily to go. His time away is a breather for us and he gets time with others he can relate to.   

[Jane4]

It takes a long time for the meds to take affect, so it can be tricky to see if they are working. Some require blood tests, so results can be seen...but it's seems a bit hit and miss.

[Shaz51]

hello everyone , what are the main symptoms that are different to other MI

[9350]

Hi @Jane4Yes spending is a symptom of bipolar, my wife spent a lot of money when she had her first manic episode. Over time her and I know that when she starts spending excessively it's a huge sign for us to put some tools and support into action to kerb the manic episode.

Some things you may look at is becoming power of attorney. My wife forgot what she purchased sometimes so I was able to return the items. I found it best to wait until she was level again before we discussed it for the first time. It will be hard for him to understand right now but give it time.