Lived Experience Forum

[Jonty8]

The quality of the relationship is definitely key. I currently have more support in my recovery than I ever have, and I don't doubt how much these people do care about me or that they really listen to me. Yet I feel lonelier than when I just had one very good close connection with someone else. 

[frog]

Invisibility captures it @Deepsea

@Adge I get the same sense from what you said.

Sometimes it seems like it makes no difference whether I'm there or not; anyone could stand in and noone would notice.

[TheVorticon]

"It’s about not feeling seen, heard of valued by the people around you."
That's probably the best definition I've heard to date.

[suzanne]

That's a really interesting perspective @Pinky.  Can you share how you show yourself that kindness or meet those needs? It sounds like a great skill to have learned.

[Liss23]

Social media can't help. I feel like I've had interactions but they are very important to also have in real life.

[MoonGal]

Hi all, jumping in a bit late, I resonate with Utopia too - feel a lack of belonging to my passions - environment, politics, animals - since I stopped working and spend so much time on my own, I feel disconneted. For me lonliness is more a sense of not belonging anywhere.

[utopia]

I think community has stopped being valued and placed as a key element  of daily life @suzanne. People knew who you were. You knew them. It was nothing out of the ordinary to stop and talk for 15 minutes with someone at the shops. 

Now,  society seems to be in a rush, (to get somewhere).  Valuing people isn't  important anymore.  It's  all about valuing things. 

[Sharman]

I got out of my marriage in part for this reason

[Adge]

That's a complex question @suzanne

My friends nearly all cut me off, when my marriage ended - at the very time when I needed support & connection the most.

That made it so much harder to work through grief, & to move forward.

I've not been able to make enough new friendships (since then), to re-connect socially (in that sense).

It seems much harder to connect & network with people as I'm older - despite all the techno-internet advances etc.

Adge

[frog]

@utopia I feel the same way about wanting a connection on the things that matter most to you. I also miss having someone to come home to.