Lived Experience Forum

[Former-Member]

PRINCE HARRY - GRIEF AND MENTAL HEALTH

Prince Harry has opened up about being on the brink of a "complete mental breakdown" on numerous occasions while dealing with grief over Princess Diana's death.

As the 20th anniversary of his mother's death approaches, Prince Harry gave a candid interview to Britain's Daily Telegraph for their podcast Mad World, talking about coping with grief, volunteering with recovering veterans and setting up his charity Heads Together with the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge.

Prince Harry said while he was now in a "good place" mentally, he spent almost two decades suppressing his grief, "sticking my head in the sand, refusing to ever think about my mum".

"Because why would that help, it's only going to make you sad, it's not going to bring her back," the Prince said.

"Then [I] started to have a few conversations and actually all of a sudden, all of this grief that I have never processed started to come to the forefront.

"It was 20 years of not thinking about it and then two years of total chaos."

Prince Harry said he sought counselling and took up boxing to process the grief and deal with aggression.

"I can safely say losing my mum at the age of 12 and therefore shutting all of my emotions for the last 20 years has had a quite serious effect on not only my personal life but my work as well," he said.

'I was a problem and I didn't know how to deal with it'

And he said one of his main goals was to simply encourage people to talk about their mental health.

"Once you start talking about it you suddenly you realise that actually you're part of quite a big club … and everybody's gagging to talk about it," Prince Harry said.

"Then once you start talking about it to your mates, two months later those mates were coming back to me, starting a conversation about 'we did this and that' but in that conversation they would start to slowly unravel their own issues because they knew I could relate to it.

"I know there's huge merit in talking about your issues and the only thing about keeping it quiet, it's only ever going to make it worse — not just for you but everybody else around you as well — because you become a problem and I, through a lot of my 20s, was a problem and I didn't know how to deal with it."

Beyond Blue chair Jeff Kennett applauded Prince Harry for speaking publicly about his struggles.

But he said it was no surprise that Prince Harry, after a life in the spotlight, had experienced mental illness.

"There's a lot of men who find it very difficult to deal with marriage break-ups," Mr Kennett said.

"In the case of the Royal family not only was there a marriage break-up, but it was terribly acrimonious and then of course the loss of [Princess] Diana in that awful car accident.

"So no-one should be surprised that either of these two young men were not beset by demons that should have been addressed at the time."

Mr Kennett went on to echo Prince Harry's statements about addressing mental illness.

"I don't think it matters what the issue is, if you're feeling ongoing stress over a number of weeks or anxiety seek professional help," he said.

"I think him being so candid will contribute to many young people in particular saying 'Hey, I don't have to bottle this up, I can be well again, I can seek professional help to deal with the things that are causing me stress and anxiety'.

"In seeking help, so many of the demons that we all face from time to time can be addressed successfully."

MON APR 17 14:24:06 EST 2017
ABC News

[Former-Member]

WILL PRINCECWILLIAM SPEAK OUT about his grief help the wider mental health conversation?

THE WORLD TODAY BY DAVID COADY
May 31, 2017

PHOTO Prince William and Prince Harry have both spoken about the struggle of dealing with their mother's death.

Australian mental health advocates are optimistic Prince William may have helped to spark a wider conversation about dealing with grief.

In an interview with GQ magazine, the Prince opened up about his struggle over his mother Princess Diana's death.

During the interview he spoke about the raw grief he felt 20 years ago when he learned of her death.

It follows an interview earlier in the year where Prince Harry spoke about his "mental chaos" while dealing with grief over his mother's death.

Prince William said he continued to find it difficult to talk about his grief openly.

He said "smashing the taboo" around mental health was the ultimate goal of his decision to team up the mental health charity Heads Together and their campaign.

"People can't access services till they feel less ashamed, so we must tackle the taboo, the stigma, for goodness sake, this is the 21st century," he said in the interview with GQ.

For the past year Prince William and Catherine have been speaking up about mental health issues.

In a video the pair made for Heads Together, along with Prince Harry, all three speak about why it was important to them and how speaking about such issues could work like "medicine".

YOUTUBE:
Prince William, Harry and Catherine speak about mental health
The two men said that working on the campaign had helped them to deal with facing their grief and to have a proper conversation about it.

"Even Harry and I over the years have not talked enough about our mother," William said.

"I always thought to myself what's the point of bringing up the past, what's the point of bringing up something that's only going to make you sad," Harry said.
"It ain't going to change it, it ain't going to bring her back."

'We need a range of people having this conversation'
Vikki Ryall from the youth mental health foundation Headspace said she hoped the message would connect with Australians.

"It's a very brave thing to do, it doesn't hurt the promotion of mental health literacy, other people feeling comfortable to speak out," she said.

"Ideally there's a range of people that you can relate to, look at them and go 'yes I connect with that person, they're like me and they've got a difficulty'.

"And then also people with some prominence — I think we need a range of people having those conversations."
Those open conversations are what would help the young royals to secure their role in society, said Rachel Bailes, secretary of the Australian Monarchist League's youth chapter in Sydney.

"You just think 20 years ago this never would have happened, and I think it's a real evidence of a modernising monarchy," she said.

She said it was always easier for institutes, such as the Royal Family, to hold on to their past, "hold on to certain traditions like the stiff upper lip".

"But I think this shows that figures, especially like William and Harry, are really taking the pulse of society as they go on and as they're leading in their own roles.

"I think they're really waking up to the fact that this is an issue that a lot of people in society, especially a lot of young men in society, really struggle with — speaking candidly about struggles.

"And so they're really doing a good thing with the responsibility they have to speak to those issues."
Speaking out a 'break in tradition'
Speaking more openly about emotion has started to become a hallmark of the modern royal family.

Claire Isaac, the executive editor of Woman's Day, said for both princes to come out and speak about mental health was "a complete break in tradition".

"It's inspiring in that it completely changed the way that the royals speak — [and] it seems to have been given the all clear by Queen," she said.

"Cynical people may suggest it's just done to pave the way for when William is king.
"But in terms of if you are in the public eye and you can talk about something that affects other people, then I think you should."

But she said she was unsure whether would connect with all Australians as much as with English people.

"In the UK they're very visibly out there, they're … making speeches, doing podcasts and radio interviews," Ms Isacc said.

"They're a lot more accessible when they want to be in the UK, whereas here we're only hearing about it second hand — so I don't know how much of that will filter thorough."
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@Adge. these two abc news write ups, about grief & MH, on this thread might interest you 🙂