Unpredictable mood swings, depressed again

[tyme]

How are you today @D1ng0 ?

[D1ng0]

Hey @tyme thanks for asking, I really do appreciate it, as that helps me feel less alone. I'm experiencing a lot of anxiety right now. Friday nights are also hard when it comes to loneliness and sobriety. I am having some dark thoughts at the moment. I think I'm safe though.

[rav3n]

@D1ng0 i hear you about how tough those friday nights can be, especially if you're drained from everything else you've had to deal with this week. i'm here with you - i also got nothing on this friday night, i'm sitting with you 💗

perhaps we can both just watch some comfort tv to finish off this week?

sending you a virtual hug 🤗 i have a giant teddy that i squeeze when people aren't available hehe.

oh no sorry to hear about the pain - being misdiagnosed and not getting a solution to what's going on can definitely be frustrating and exhausting, i hope this next specialist is the one!!! keep holding on @D1ng0, you got this 😊

have you tried FriendLine before? it's not a crisis line and they're not necessarily a mental health service either but rather place to call if you're feeling lonely and want to connect - they're available 10am-8pm 1800 424 287 - if that's something you're interested in trying? i haven't tried it myself so if you do try it out, let me know how it goes - if its not your thing, that's all good as well!

i want to also share some crisis lines for you to reach out to if you're feeling unsafe or just want additional support:

Lifeline:  Crisis Chat 

Suicide call back service: 1300 659 467 or online counselling 

Samaritans: 135 247 

Beyond blue: 1300 22 4636 or chat online

Mindspot: 1800 61 44 34

If in immediate danger: 000 

[D1ng0]

Thanks heaps @rav3n 😊 I'm watching a VOD of a funny streamer playing (very bad) indie game demos. That's my comfort TV right now. Cheers for the virtual hug and the recommendations. My sleep meds are kicking in so I'm probably going to start my whole night routine now, so I'll say goodnight.

I'm very grateful for this forum.

[rav3n]

enjoy the VOD! i'm very grateful to have you here @D1ng0, good night 💗

[tyme]

Hearing you @D1ng0 .

Fridays used to be really hard for me. I don't know if it similar for you, but for me, it was because I didn't have structure or accountability on the weekends which meant I often turned to unhelpful coping strategies. I think many of my hospital admissions were On Fridays or weekends. 

One thing I guess which helps is making sure I plan things in for the weekend so I'm not left twiddling my thumbs while dwelling on my thoughts. 

It was only for a short time because I don't need to consciously busy myself nowadays.

How do weekends and weekdays differ for you (if you feel up to sharing)?

[D1ng0]

Morning @tyme, thanks for asking 🙂

I think the lack of structure is an issue for me too, but it's more the loneliness than anything else. I'm feeling that very intensely today.

Hearing that weekends have become easier for you does give me hope, though.

[tyme]

Hugs @D1ng0 .

I'm hearing you. I'm here if you want a chat.

I've never asked, but if you feel like sharing about the origins of your name, please go ahead What does your forums' name mean? 

[rav3n]

hey @D1ng0 how's your weekend? 😊

i too would love to hear the story behind your username, only if you feel up to sharing on that thread of course!

[D1ng0]

Hey @rav3n and @tyme, thank you for supporting me. It really does mean a lot, right now. I know I've probably said that a few times in my replies, but it's genuinely true. Hope you're both alright.

I struggled a lot yesterday. I even contacted a crisis line [edited by moderator] via the online messaging service. It wasn't great. I'm still feeling very low, but I managed to go through the motions again today. I got work done, I cleaned up around the house, I ate meals when my alarm went off (that helps with my bulimia), and I didn't do anything rash or self-destructive. I definitely felt the urge, but I don't want to go any lower. And I don't want to relapse. So right now, I think I'm just going to go to sleep. I can't think of any other solution. But it is nice to log in and see your comments. So, thank you again.

Re: my username, I think I just chose a random animal as something anonymous. Not exciting, sorry!