Peer Group Chat // Conquering Our Goals // Thursday 23rd February 2023, 7-8:30PM AEDT

[tonys]

thankyou so much @Owlunar .   It was a handful of words from you that that set my old rusty protesting cogs back in motion.   And I know you have a very full life and a very sore shoulder so thankyou again to the power of 4.  

I wanted to ask you why you did not publish  but its deeper than this isn't  it.  I read it a dozen times .  It would be like  your naked heart paraded through the streets.

It could put your heart into hazard.    So small,  but a whole banquet of beauty.  One day I hope you will send me another tiny piece of  ' your lace'. . . . .   with some guiding words to what you were feeling in the moment.        I'm on the back of your mirror.   never went to school, so it helps to know  the bow behind the arrow.

I'm sure you know that trauma can cleave the mind in two as a way of dealing with things.

hence the line about the skin from the tree,  So at times you'll forgive me please if I sound a bit to colourful its the other ... me.      Your letter about the rats in your ceiling had me writing till 2 in the morning.

I read my nightmare.   It frightened me and so glad I binned it.

    But you have responded and in the most wonderful letter yet.  You are a tolerant person who has been generous with your time and advice and I am in you debt.  As you can tell I can only maintain  Tupper  ware talk  for so long,  and then loose control and it takes a special person to be in a room with some one with autism.   So you are very special too 

 Please take your time and let that shoulder recover and one day if I'm lucky the owl will adorn my old rusty mail box again   in the light of the moon.

Bless you my scholarly friend.           tonys moon base one. 

[TideisTurning]

@tonys, thank you so much for sharing your words with us. These poems are incredible, and so wonderfully descriptive. They definitely give a lot of insight into your world. I consider it an honour and privilege to be bestowed the gift of this glimpse.  

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@tonys wrote:

                 Miles of smiles

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I especially love this line- for me, it evokes a really vivid image.

Feel free to share as much or as little as you'd like, but there are also a few things I'm curious about in your second poem particularly.

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@tonys wrote:

A world devoid of ego,   competition.   alpha dominant hands on the the reins of power.   What would make my goals attainable would mean others would have to surrender the inherent traits of what it is to be human.

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I'm wondering what these inherently human traits you feel others would need to surrender so you can attain your goals, are? Ego, competition and dominance? And, this might become apparent from the answer to the earlier questions, but why would these traits need to be surrendered do you think?

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@tonys wrote:

Too belong and be accepted in this world.   That is the wish for those  who live in my world.

To be sketched as a person for just one day.

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So much of what you've said in your poems really resonates with me, but this particularly. Hits me right in the ❤️, but in the best way! We have another chat coming up next week on the topic of being you and belonging I get the feeling you might find interesting based on this. I might ask another question over there soon based on this part 😊

For the record too, I agree with @Sophia1, I would leave your beautiful poems as they are. And quest definitely conquered!

[Sophia1]

Thank you so much @TideisTurning 

Your response tells me that you took time to read my response to @tonys  and understand where I was coming from.

Then you take the time to tell me so. That means so much to me. Thank you again.

I felt exactly the same when I read his words. They were coming from the heart.

For me that is poetry in it's natural beauty not contrived, edited and conforming to academic standards.

Editing writing runs the risk of losing the initial emotion drawing the words in that moment.

Just my humble opinion.

[Appleblossom]

Oh thank you for a deep wonderful discussion. @tonys @Owlunar @Sophia1 @TideisTurning @amber22 

I was not particularly attracted to the title of the chat, as I am wary of too many unnecessary goals, with everyone going gung ho and boasting in a dog eat dog world.  But this discussion has shown me the Community has much of value and thoughtfulness and heart.

Grateful to know you and be part of it.

[tonys]

@TideisTurning   hello and thankyou for your kind words.  How are you feeling.  In good spirits I hope.  Thankyou for your questions...   I like people that question everything.

example  1

I recently joined a site that is specially designed to accommodate  NDIS folk and it was immediately apparent that they had not tested the interfaces with intellectualy impaired people.

I tried to watch a seminar on including NDIS folks in social activities.   They lured me to It in a email.  So,   first I had to get "tickets"  to attend. No cost, but a complex step.  email 2.  got my ticket .   Email 3.  events starts in    X   amount of time.  opened email and looked for the nice big box  with a finger pointing to it that says click here to start the show. I tried every blue link on this email to make it work.  No luck.  Some web designer forgot to give it to a 4 year old to see if people like me could use it.  Picture, visual cues, then the adults ,   and the kids can use it. . .

Example 2    when I look at the little box that says " email me when someone replies'  Nothing there also says that means you will unknowingly subscribe to that thread.   I have been asking ever so nicely but no joy.    Now I do understand   Sane not meant for NDIS,  

NOW,  please,  please    let me state emphatically that I do not expect answers to  any questions .   And I do not ask or expect the world to be tailored to those with learning difficulties.  Everyone is busy.   Me included.  If someone answers,  great.   

If they cant .   great.     I  only say,   with out realizing,  they are unknowingly excluding some people.    

An adult can play tic tac toe.     A child stuck on 4 years old has big hurdles with  chess.

To answer your question about human traits.

 It serves no purpose to ask.   Carbon cannot simply stop being  carbon.

Evolution and success of our species is the result of competition, the strong succeeding, and

the attraction of the strongest  to the strongest.

Through education,   countless seminars ,  most of us manage to programme ourselves to step away from the animal that we are and rise to a higher thinking,  But we are still just a more advanced  Ape in the costumes we choose.     In total war,  be it on the battle field or the financial and business, workplace arena.     We can never truly separate  the animal from the seminar,   

Half the worlds wealth is in the hands of 100 people.   Look at the folks that rise to the top and run the nuclear arsenal.      People  are just.  .  .  . people.     You can ask them to change but It wont last.   Thats why they killed Kennedy. . .   and slavery is more widespread than ever,

Just has different labels.   Now I'm going to put my helmet on,  crawl in my trench,  and wait for incoming.              Very best intentions     tonys   mb  1 

[tonys]

@TideisTurning   Oh.. forgot to say.  Yes please to next week if  Ok

                                        Keeps fidgeting fingers  for fridge snacks at bay     t  mb 1

[tonys]

Hello  @Sophia1   Big thank won't cover it,  but cheques in the mail.   Mate,  You and tideisturning ,   are probly going to wooden spoon me because guess  what. . .!    after  8 months ,  I finally worked out how to edit an old post of mine last night doing some experiments.   So . . .  sorry but

re_ smeltered the bath into bathe  and touched up the other ones I did,  in a big hurry.    

Mate     how are you anyway.  My pitch fork is humming,  so I hope that means your ok.  Yes I always take my time to read your responses,  but the A2   walks hand in hand with the short attention span,   so I always forget something.  I know you understand.

back to work soon but will be up to stoke the stove later tonight..   If I hug you too hard I'll crack another rib.          tonys moon base one.

[Sophia1]

Hello @TideisTurning 

I am unable to be on the computer at the times that these peer group chats are active.

I have tried clicking on the here

It does not open up any discussion..

I am not huge on goal setting as life seems to make up it's own mind how my days are filled.

I do, however, appreciate that goal setting is very important for many people and a very good starting point in helping to move out of an endless recurring pattern.

I agree there is definite value in the exercise. I have used this many years ago when working.

Breaking down the goal into manageable, realistic bite size quests helped me the most.

The next week session that, I cannot remember now....brain misbehaving again!..is of particular interest to me.

So I would love to be able to access the session after as with some of the past chats.

Good luck on trying to help me..

Thank you

Sophia1

[Sophia1]

@tonys 

I will reply to you on looking after ourselves to keep the conversation re goals, flowing here..

Sophia1

[Owlunar]

@Appleblossom 

Hi Apple

I read your message and agree:

                I am wary of too many unnecessary goals, with everyone going gung ho and                          boasting in a dog eat dog world.  

We need to make our goals to suit ourselves with no need to "prepare a face to meet the faces that we meet" (T S Eliot)

Many years ago I had a friend who had a desperate need to do something during the school holidays to prove something to other people. I was no use to her as I already had my plans - I was going to read The Iliad - yeah - I know there are other fun ways to fill my time - but I was doing my HSC as a mature age student and this was required reading.

My friend got her three kids into her small car and drove a long way for a holiday - ah - I don't remember that she had a good time but at least she had done something - to this day I think we do things to please ourselves or to meet some important commitment for our well-being - impressing other people is not my idea of useful endeavours to fill my time.

Anyway - goal setting is something that might be more important to the therapist than to the client. I got that feeling when I saw the last psychologist I will ever see - it was like talking to someone who had a questionnaire and was asking questions requiring certain answers and I wasn't playing - I can be hard to get on with at times and my agenda was something outside her scope I think - I am getting wiser and more cranky in my old age - which I am actually enjoying and do have private goals.

There is no need to be gung ho - or boast - especially if the environment is "dog-eat-dog" - yuk - our goals can be private without any need to complain or explain if we don't meet them - or give them up - we can be flexible.

And we need to go easy on ourselves - sometimes our worse critics can be ourselves.

You have never had it easy Apple - from what I read life is a little easier for you now.

All the best

Owlunar