@Appleblossom
Hi Apple
I read your message and agree:
I am wary of too many unnecessary goals, with everyone going gung ho and boasting in a dog eat dog world.
We need to make our goals to suit ourselves with no need to "prepare a face to meet the faces that we meet" (T S Eliot)
Many years ago I had a friend who had a desperate need to do something during the school holidays to prove something to other people. I was no use to her as I already had my plans - I was going to read The Iliad - yeah - I know there are other fun ways to fill my time - but I was doing my HSC as a mature age student and this was required reading.
My friend got her three kids into her small car and drove a long way for a holiday - ah - I don't remember that she had a good time but at least she had done something - to this day I think we do things to please ourselves or to meet some important commitment for our well-being - impressing other people is not my idea of useful endeavours to fill my time.
Anyway - goal setting is something that might be more important to the therapist than to the client. I got that feeling when I saw the last psychologist I will ever see - it was like talking to someone who had a questionnaire and was asking questions requiring certain answers and I wasn't playing - I can be hard to get on with at times and my agenda was something outside her scope I think - I am getting wiser and more cranky in my old age - which I am actually enjoying and do have private goals.
There is no need to be gung ho - or boast - especially if the environment is "dog-eat-dog" - yuk - our goals can be private without any need to complain or explain if we don't meet them - or give them up - we can be flexible.
And we need to go easy on ourselves - sometimes our worse critics can be ourselves.
You have never had it easy Apple - from what I read life is a little easier for you now.
All the best
Owlunar
