Peer Group Chat // Too Much of a Good Thing? // Thursday 15th June 2023, 7-8:30PM AEST

[amber22]

Hello! 

On Thursday 15th of June 2023, we will be holding a Peer Group Chat on the topic of Too Much of a Good Thing?

Resilience isn’t always as easy as “you get knocked down, you get back up again”, and positivity isn’t always a case of “Lift your chin up! it's not so bad”.  Comments like these are often intended to make us feel better but can end up making us feel worse, or even invalidating our experiences. Let’s come together to talk about when resilience or positivity might turn toxic, the impacts and how you could respond. 

The event start times across Australia are below:

Western Australia: 5pm 
Northern Territory & South Australia: 6:30pm 

Queensland, New South Wales, Australian Capital Territory, Victoria & Tasmania: 7pm

For anyone unfamiliar with Peer Group Chats, each focuses on a specific topic and is guided by Peer Workers with lived experience of mental health issues and recovery, &/or caring for someone with complex mental health. A counsellor is also present as a moderator to help ensure a safe environment for individuals and the group. It is a space for us as peers to share our stories and experiences, and connect with those who are going through something similar. 

Anyone is welcome to join! Tagging some members who may be interested below: 
@Shaz51 @Snowie @Meggle @Appleblossom @Bobbie @sammy3 @Jacques @creative_writer @Captain24 @Down2 @Gillie1 @Adge @tonys @wellwellwellnez @Laura4 @Messylife @tonys @Bow @Appleblossom @ParentingOCD @Smiling_Gecko @chibam @Snowie @ShiningStar @Bow @Laura4 @CloudBerry 

Peer Group Chats are hosted outside of the forums, using a platform called Chatwee. 

To join an Online Peer Group and participate, you will need to register for an account with Chatwee.
To access the group to observe only and not participate, you can access Chatwee as a Guest.
On the night, follow this link to access Chatwee before the group starts.
You can join our Peer Group Chats every Thursday from 7:00-8:30pm (AEDT). Check out the FAQs page for more information.  

We hope to see you there 😊 If you can't make it but are interested, you can always catch up reading the transcript afterwards here. We also invite you to continue the conversation below on this thread if you can't make the night but also wish to contribute some of your responses. We will post some dot point prompts on the day that can get the conversation started if you're unable to make the live event!

[Captain24]

I would love to join in but I’ll be at work. 

[TideisTurning]

Hi Everyone, 

Just a reminder that the next Online Peer Group Chat on Too Much of a Good Thing? will take place tonight from 7-8:30pm AEST.  As always, for ease of reference, times across Australia are in the graphic and listed below: 

Western Australia: 5pm 
Northern Territory & South Australia: 6:30pm 

Queensland, New South Wales, Australian Capital Territory, Victoria & Tasmania: 7pm 

Tonight, you can expect discussion about:  

• How to notice the toxic side of positivity and resilience 
• Challenging toxic aspects of resilience and positivity 
• When positivity and resilience might be helpful 

Tagging members who have supported or otherwise interacted with the thread so far as well as those who may be interested to receive a reminder: @Snowie @Birdofparadise8 @CloudBerry @Shaz51 @chibam @Oaktree @Appleblossom @Jacques @creative_writer @Kyle1 

[TideisTurning]

Hi Everyone, 

Just a reminder that this Peer Group Chat on the topic of Too Much of a Good Thing? will be starting very soon, in around 20 minutes at 7PM AEST! Tagging those who have interacted with the thread and who may be online and/or interested to receive a reminder 😊 @Snowie @Shaz51 @Birdofparadise8 @Dimity @Emergence @EternalFlower @Ever_Learning @Kyle1 @Mickeydoolan @Former-Member @Shaymanpihama @Former-Member @StuF @The-red-centaur @chibam @tonys @Oaktree @Appleblossom @athos @outlander @Meowmy @Eden1919 @Bow @BlueBells @Bill16 

[Shaymanpihama]

Yes please

[tyme]

Hey @Shaymanpihama @Former-Member , do you know how to log in to Chatwee?

[Former-Member]

Hi @tyme 

I do not know how to log in but l will read your email before next week and sort it out

Thank you very much.

[tonys]

thankyou @TideisTurning .        look forward to see what people write.                         tonys.

[TideisTurning]

Hey Everyone,

Something that came up in this discussion is the expectations and pressure that can underlie the toxicity of positivity and/or resilience. For instance, people have and would probably describe me as a pretty positive and resilient person. These two things play a big part in who I am, like the way people think I'm a ray of sunshine and how I get back up after being knocked down. But that doesn't mean that I am always positive and/or resilient. That doesn’t mean that I am immune to negativity- I’m not, and it’s important to recognise the place for that. If you are not feeling particularly positive or resilient, there is a reason for it, and it’s perfectly ok to feel that and to not be ok. It’s important to allow that feeling to be as is- you are allowed to be affected by hardship and struggle and you deserve to have that experience and any emotions that might go with it, validated. For me I feel like that's where it can start to become problematic. Because when ‘always’ is tacked onto a description of someone as ‘positive’ or ‘resilient’, it can set up an unfair and potentially unhealthy expectation of someone or put pressure on them to constantly be resilient and/or positive all the time, which to my mind, is just not realistic. So, that said, what I’m curious to hear from all of you is the role and impact of assumptions in the toxicity of positivity and/or resilience- what does it do when 'always' is tacked onto a description of something like positivity and/or resilience? What's the resulting impact?

Also, to turn it back, how do we think we could challenge these kinds of assumptions if confronted with then? This article (based more around toxic positivity than resilience) may be assist with that last part 😊 There is also a small discussion around 15 minutes into this podcast episode about the reception of generally happy people- possibly another version of toxicity related to positivity. 

@Captain24 @Oaktree @outlander @Shaz51 @Shaymanpihama @Former-Member @Dimity I'd love to hear from you and anyone else who'd like to share and/or contribute 😊

[Former-Member]

@TideisTurning 

Short reply.

Strong people still hurt.

We appear strong externally so others cannot see the impact.

Also with mindfulness we train our brain to "always look on the bright side of life"

Assume. Gave that up years ago.

Tv show Judge Judy always says you cannot read soneone elses mind.

And l use ASSUME

Assumptions incorrect just make an

ASS / U / ME

ass out of you and me. (The assumers)

And l also say sadly some MS sufferers are assumed as drunks. We have too many assumers