Just reread first page of this thread.
At the time you posted it, it resonated a LOT with me. So many attachment issues, that for decades I did not understand the full ramifications ...
Now I have just had another unsatisfactory - abusive end of therapuetic relationship, I am feeling again with you. What is it, that people think they can judge the soul of another person.
No answers here ... sorry ... just hello.
I did not know her for that long, but it still wasted time and money and hope to actually sort through things.
Its great you have someone who can adjust and correct for not knowing.
Of course they cant and should not know everything about their client's lives. Thats the nature of the work. Dont reflect back unless it is the right time for you. I do it periodically on all my threads, mainly to see how things have changed and it reminds me of the support I had. So reflecting back often ends with me feeling grateful ... sigh ... I am not back there ... things are better now. etc