Stress, grief and nutrition

[Chilliheeler]

TW: post mentions topics of food, diet, appetite, grief, unhealthy coping mechanisms, etc.

I am currently going through a period of chronic extreme stress - it's been approx six months of it being really bad, and has intensified to unbearable the last week.

I am normally a stress eater - in could easily eat a whole bag of chips or a block of chocolate mindlessly. I would find myself turning to food as a coping strategy. My adult life has generally been very stressful, and I am overweight [edited by moderator].

Content/trigger warning

However, in this last week, since suffering a significant loss, I have found I have for the first time in my life no appetite. I feel like I'm going to throw up all the time, my stomach is constantly in knots and I gag when ever I try to eat. Even food prepared for me by others, I just can't get more than a bite in. All I can tolerate is a cup of tea.

 I'm having trouble with my thoughts and sleep as well. I haven't noticed a loss of normal energy, but then I have been chronically exhausted for years. I am accessing therapy, and I have a heap of support. I have taken time off work and moved back to my parents home.

Content/trigger warning

One part of me says, "great, you'll lose your excess weight!" I have never found dieting possible due to over eating as a stress response. 

It also occured to me that the cognitive/sleep probs may be influenced by my lack of nutrition. I will consult my GP, but it will be a while before i get in.to see her.

What do people find helpful to do to get some nutrition in to enable sleep and mental rest and general functioning without eating? Multivitamins? Shakes? What am I looking for in terms of quality and content? Can you recommend somewhere for information? Just looking for temporary advice for the next few days, I know to be healthy I need to consult with a doctor.

[rav3n]

hi @Chilliheeler welcome to the forums!!

i'm sorry to hear about your loss @Chilliheeler grief and loss can impact individuals differently, for some the change in appetite might be minor while for others it can be a bit more intense. i'm really glad to hear that you've already been accessing therapy and that you're going to be reaching out for nutritional support too - they'll be able to provide you additional resources too.

if you haven't already, it might be a good idea to get blood tests done. this way you can check if there's any deficiencies and then take supplements/medications accordingly. sometimes things like magnesium deficiencies may be linked with poor sleep/poor memory or iron and vitamin D deficiency may be associated with tiredness/low energy. i hope that can get you closer to finding some answers and the best support 💙

[Alisse]

Hi @Chilliheeler 

Welcome to the forums and I hope you feel supported here.

I'm sorry that you are going through the process of grieving. This is never easy and it’s understandable that you have had a change in appetite, eating habits and sleeping patterns. 

Thank you for opening up about the common relationship between food and stress, I can relate. That takes a lot of courage, especially with how much shame and pressure society puts on body image. Social media hasn't helped either and it's taking a big toll on people's mental health. 

As you’re experiencing, eating patterns can be heavily impacted by our emotional wellbeing.

I developed an eating disorder as a child and spent many years caught up in disordered eating to cope with emotional pain. It was the birth of my sons that gave me a new appreciation of what the human body is capable of and reminded me to be grateful and respect it more.

Even now, I can still fall into unhelpful thought patterns or coping behaviors, but with therapy and time, I've learned healthier ways to manage my stress, addictive behaviours and my disordered thinking. 

When it comes to nutrition, I know it can feel overwhelming with all the supplements out there. A good starting point might be something with protein, calcium and B vitamins.  Magnesium and melatonin can help with sleep and you can get them over the counter. Simply things like chamomile tea before bed, lavender on your pillow or infuser, or a warm bath can also create a calming wind-down routine.  

I've linked a couple of resources below that explain how to choose the right nutritional support and how to read labels so you know what you're really getting.

On top of that, even small ways of lowering stress, going for a walk, less screen time or going to bed early, can make a difference.  Until you get to your GP, I hope you find something that brings you the nourishment and rest you need. 

And a gentle reminder, pause to breathe, drop your shoulders, relax your jaw and let out a sigh. Grief is a process and it takes time, be gentle with yourself. 

Kindly Alisse

https://www.platinumhealthsupply.com.au/blogs/all/how-to-choose-the-right-nutritional-supplement-for...

https://www.healthdirect.gov.au/how-to-read-food-labels

https://www.headspace.com/meditation/breathing-exercises

[Chilliheeler]

@Alisse thank you for sharing your story and the link to the website explaining what to look for. I was getting overwhelmed by all the marketing and trying to wade through the fine print. I looked in the supermarket but all their products seemed to be exercise or diet focussed, which is not what I wanted. I ended up going to the chemist and they recommended sustagen, which is on that list you sent as well. Thankfully I can tolerate the taste, so I think I am onto a good thing now. 

I also made some big decisions and actions today to handle some of the financial, legal and admin related to my loss, so I will hopefully rest better tonight now they are off my mind!

Best wishes for your ongoing well being too @Alisse ❤️

[Chilliheeler]

Thank you, I forgot I have a pathology form from about a month ago to do those check ups and to manage an autoimmune condition I have too. Will follow that up. It is good to have an easy basic next step to do.

[Alisse]

Hi @Chilliheeler 

I'm really glad to hear you've started on Sustagen, and I hope you begin to feel the extra nutritional support soon. 

Grief and emotional stress can take such a heavy tolll on the body and you truly have a lot on your plate right now.   

Pathology testing and a follow up with your GP is a positive way of addressing health issues and taking care of yourself during such a difficult time.

I also want to acknowwledge the achievement you made in sorting through those financial and legal matters.  That's no small task, especially while grieving, when thinking clearly and making decisions can feel overwhelming.  You've done something really significant and I hope you can feel a little relief knowing it's behind you.

This is such a hard time and it's important to move at your own pace, giving yourself permission to pause, step back and take a breath whenever you need to.  I hope you feel nourished and supported as you gently make your way through this grieving process.  Please be kind to yourself.

Kindly Alisse