why can't I cope longer?

[Former-Member]

Found some more strong pills in my cleanup today. I know I shouldn't stockpile them (4Blackdog) but can't help it. Maybe knowing i can will ease the pain & help the now.

Just need to tell SOMEONE on the planet. And mybback hurts 😞

Found a tiny RED ROSE BROACH from mum, sent to remind me that she may not show it but she loves me. Gotta retain the good stuff.

[Zoe7]

Sorry I left last night - meds began to kick in and I needed to head to bed early @Former-Member.

It is lovely that you found the brooch from your mum - it is often those little things that are most significant and remind us that people do care. My aim for today is to finish the framing and get started on measuring and cutting the sheets for the wall - think I can get most of that done today and then can put up the shelves and start moving things back into the garage tomorrow.

[Former-Member]

Thanks @Zoe7, really nice to find your post here this am (being tagged / remembered), appreciate it. Good luck with your project. Where are you? Is it hot there too? I'm in Sydney & sick if the heat.

Keep smiling 🙂

[Zoe7]

I'm in Hobart @Former-Member and although it has been warm here lately it has been nothing like the heat you guys are getting on the mainland. Do you have air conditioning?

I am still doing the 'great wall' lol - had an appointment this morning that I nearly forgot about so the wall has been put on hold for a little while - will get back to it soon though.

Hope you have a good day today 

[Former-Member]

Oh lucky you Zoe7, living in Tasssie, I've thought of moving there but hear the health system is crap. Is that true? Might visit soon though.
Good going with the wall, you'll be able to give TRUMP some tips soon lol

[Zoe7]

The Health system here is definitely not great @Former-Member I have got lucky with my treating team and all because of the great work done by my GP to begin with. The hospital system is broken but has been that way for a long time and can't see it changing in the near future. 

haha - give Trump tips - I did think about him as his wall when I was first writing about mine - the biggest difference is my wall is to keep things in and his is to keep people out!

I'll be able to get the sheeting done tomorrow and then can begin moving things back in - really looking forward to sorting everything out.

[Former-Member]

Hi @Zoe7, missed you lately.

I just need to connect with someone.

Have you ever really had suicidal thoughts? How would you cope?

I know its probably a case of just riding out his weekend's bad anniversary (for me) but just would appreciate your backup. But not if you're already burdened, I'll figure it out.

Its just avla little frightening to have the thought to 'check out' aagain - ya think ya over the depression / grief, then pow! It bowls you over again with the slightest trigger, such as this grief anniversaries.

But, guess today I did the dishes, finished an assignment and submitted it on time today.

So,  not all is lost.

My car's in the repair shop. I'm grounded.

[Zoe7]

Yes I have had those thoughts a lot previously @Former-Member They are all encompassing and things feel so out of control and hopeless. A grief anniversary would certainly not be helping with those thoughts but you can get through this weekend. I had a great team around me to help me through and the amazing support here of some wonderful people - both members and mods that were invaluable support for me.

Reach out here when you need EOR - I will be around when I can be. 

[Former-Member]

Thank you but I don't know how

[Zoe7]

Hey @Former-Member  are you still around?