I can’t cope

[Jynx]

Oh true @Captain24 I legit thought you were in your 20's... for some reason! Really goes to show how accurate that meme is eh? 😂

But I totally feel you on the Lego owwies!! I get so focused on it I don't even realise until everything below my belly button is rife with tingly pins n needles! 

@Bow niiiice! I occasionally get carded still, which means some people think I'm actually under 18?! Just... how? 

[Captain24]

Totally immature for my age. @Jynx. Apparently I don’t look it either. Everyone is shocked at my age. I’m guessing looks and maturity. 

They were pretty cool sets, so it was worth it. 

How has your day been?

I’m juggling the same shit as yesterday, it’s really getting me down. Like badly. 

[Jynx]

@Captain24 I am actually glad that I am easily labelled as 'immature'. I would much prefer to be silly, childish, and not taken seriously by 'adults' than to stop having fun wherever and however I can. There's a saying, "You don't stop playing when you grow old, you grow old when you stop playing." The concept of 'play' was part of my counselling course for a reason!

Ooh which sets were they? 

My days been alright, I splashed out on some pizza, haven't had take away in a long time so it was a nice lil treat! 

Today the last day you gotta do the pretending? You got through it okay yesterday my friend, you can do so again today! 

[Captain24]

  Pizza sounds good @Jynx. I hope you enjoyed it.. 

It’s always been looked down on in my life. Everyone seems to think I should act the same as the whole ‘married with 2.5 kids’ female that’s my age. Lots of em even have grand kids. But I’m a totally different person with different life experiences. 

Yes this is the last night, as long as work accept the letter from my GP. I was sensible and sent a text to the stork guy demanding the letter with what it actually needs to say. That way tomorrow my GP can write it and they can’t say anything as it’s all in writing!!! It annoys me though as I need the appointment for my mood, hospital visit, my stopping my meds, restarting the last med. Instead I have to waste time in work shit. 

[Jynx]

Oh absolute mood @Captain24 the whole 'white picket fence' ideal was never my thing. And it's also basically a lie, based on this idea of the 'nuclear family' model that says that everyone should desire and strive for the exact same cookie cutter life path. Yawn. 

It does suck when people want to make it a problem though. As though they see me living my life in the way that suits me best, and resent me for it because they took the cookie cutter road (and maybe too late have realised they didn't have to, lol). But there's always gonna be haters no matter which road I take, so I take the one that has the most fun involved 😋

Oh damn, yeah I bet that feels like an annoying use of an appt. Maybe at the start, highlight that you do have other stuff to get to if there's time... cos then maybe the GP will make time! Never know if you don't ask. 

Oh coooool!! The Starry Night one is soooo pretty, I wanted that one too! Was it super fiddly? 

[Bow]

Oh I really like the london phone box @Captain24  and really want it but think it’s a bit $$$$ for what it is. 

[Captain24]

Maybe one day I’ll have the confidence to take the fun road. @Jynx. At this stage I’m just trying to find any road right now. 

My GP is really good but I will have to make another appointment pretty quickly. I’ll give him the list and he can focus on what needs to be sorted first. It was already going to be a big one. My job is really shit right now. 

It was really fiddly. Some of the bags only had one sized piece in one colour and they were full. It felt good finishing it though. I’ve done the ‘Great ocean wave’ and now I want the Milky Way. 

The phone booth looks awesome @Bow if you press the button on top it lights up the booth. It was expensive though. 

[Jynx]

@Captain24 the best part about the fun road is that you create it for yourself! What do you find fun? If it's difficult to answer that question, it can help to reflect back on what you found fun when you were younger! 

Mm your job seems to be a pretty big source of stress! Hope you can get into the gp again soon and get it all sorted 🤞

There's a MILKY WAY LEGO?! Wow.... Gotta look that up!

[Captain24]

Do you what… I actually don’t know what ‘fun’ really is. @Jynx. As a kid fun was going to the park but mostly it was spent trying to keep mum happy so we didn’t suffer. 

Work is a heap of stress but then it can go for a while without stress. But it’s the only place I can work that pays my mortgage and works with my dogs. I’ve gotten use to the lifestyle of days on and days off. So I should stop complaining because it can’t change. 

I just looked up the Milky Way and there are a few new ones. 

 

[Jynx]

Mm can be confronting to reflect on sometimes @Captain24 - especially if your role as a kid was not 'being a kid' but 'managing my parent's emotional states and training to become hypervigilant to miniscule emotional changes'... Hmm was there ever anything you wanted as a kid, or wanted to do, that your parents quickly shut down? That can be a good place to start! 

You're allowed to vent about it though! And well, yes it might be ideal in terms of payment and hours but doesn't mean it's the ONLY job that has those things. Not saying 'oh it's easy just quit your job!' cos it's NOT easy to make a decision like that (so tired of self-help BS that says to 'just do this it's easy' then mentions an option only accessible to those with financial privilege, ugh), but doesn't mean it can't ever change. Just saying like... don't close the door to the potential of opportunity, cos otherwise when it does come knocking, you may not even see it. 

Ach the Milky Way looks so cool! And the little Simba, so cute!